


The Shiratorizawa Quest

by volleydorks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Farmer Ushijima, Kageyama makes a cameo uwu, M/M, POV First Person, Shiratorizawa, The iwaoi only lasts for like one chapter, You Should Have Come to Shiratorizawa, but tendou likes ushijima, he's obsessed with Oikawa, the main ship is ushioi, ushijima lowkey a stalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2018-12-23 07:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 19,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11985216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleydorks/pseuds/volleydorks
Summary: "You should have come to Shiratorizawa."The first time Ushijima dared to utter those six words near the ever-elusive Oikawa Tooru, the Shiratorizawa ace was met by Oikawa's infamous head toss and a chuckle."No. I'm quite content with Seijoh."Consequent to that, he got his hands on a journal, promising himself that he would never stop trying to win over Oikawa's affection. He would get that boy to come to Shiratorizawa, no matter what.





	1. The Beginning

My name is Ushijima Wakatoshi. I am an athletic male of eighteen years and I am the ace of Shiratorizawa — the school Oikawa should have come to. Even now, it saddens me that he deemed Shiratorizawa unworthy of reaping his vast talents. His talent of pulling out 100% of any player’s ability is one that would go untarnished with us. Tendou agrees with this sentiment of mine. For many days now, I have used an app named ‘Facebook’ to ask Oikawa why he did not come to Shiratorizawa. He simply sent me a moving picture of a young baby giggling. I did not understand the purpose of his moving picture, and the baby was not that cute. It was an average baby.

In order to vent my frustrations out in a healthy manner, I have purchased this diary in order to brainstorm ways to get Oikawa Tooru to come to Shiratorizawa and become our setter. Even now, I cannot fathom why the boy chooses to stay with Aoba Johsai. Everyone on that team is weak, and that boy Iwaizumi seems to be quite violent towards him. If Oikawa Tooru was at Shiratorizawa, I would make him cookies. I would even put smiley faces on them.

I am going to call this diary ‘The Shiratorizawa Quest: Day by Day, Oikawa Finds Himself Unable to Resist the Urge to Join Shiratorizawa’. Yes, that is quite a fitting name. I do not think anyone could argue with that fact.


	2. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The recruitment of Oikawa Tooru has officially begun.

Today, I managed to source Oikawa’s number from one of his many female exes. I dialled it and waited for him to answer. He answered with a loud ‘Yoo-hoo, this is Tooru!’ which almost blew my eardrums out, but fortunately, as the ace of Shiratorizawa, I was able to sustain the loud voice of Oikawa Tooru. Once I announced myself and my goal to bring him closer to Shiratorizawa, he laughed for quite a while. I asked him what was funny. He said that I was funny. I heard the voices of his other teammates in the background. They were laughing too.

“Is that asshole _still_ trying to get you to join Shiratorizawa?” I could hear the voice of Oikawa’s comrade, Iwaizumi. He had always disliked me, for some strange reason. Maybe because I once spiked a ball past him. I saw him punching Oikawa during a time-out. It made me feel some semblance of anger, because Oikawa appeared to be hurt. Anger was not an emotion I was familiar with, so I did not know how to deal with it. I had ended up unleashing my anger on the ball when the time came for me to spike. It just happened to go in his direction.

I wish Oikawa would understand that all I want to do is protect him. Aoba Johsai is a foundation built on infertile soil, and Oikawa is a flower, too exquisite for the harsh rays of his teammates and environment alike. Shiratorizawa is solid. I can give Oikawa the nutrients he needs. Shiratorizawa is what Oikawa needs.

I told him that, as clearly as I could. He laughed even harder. I could hear Iwaizumi muttering some obscenities, which I do not care to write down here, and there were the various murmurs of his teammates. One of them called me ‘misguided’ and ‘insensitive’. I do not know what they mean by that. I think they are just jealous.


	3. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima doesn't understand that Seijoh hates him

I tried to call Oikawa again, slightly later so that I would not catch him while he was still at Aoba Johsai. I didn't want those teammates of his to overhear me. I wanted him all to myself. To my delight, he picked up a lot quicker this time, sounding quite peppy on the other side of the phone. In fact, he'd even saved my number. I couldn't help but wonder what name he'd put me under. Perhaps he'd saved me as "My Future Saviour" or "That Bastard". I wasn't sure what he meant by bastard. Maybe it was just Oikawa being endearing, although he sure seemed to show it in strange ways.

“I already know what you’re going to say,” he had said. “Come to Shiratorizawa.”

“No.” I cleared my throat. “I was going to say that Aoba Johsai is not the right school for you. Everyone is weak.”

He chuckled, his voice lower than usual. “If we’re weak, then what are all the other schools?”

“Not worth mentioning.”

“Well, looks like you're still a bastard. I’m not coming to Shiratorizawa.”

 

He hung up the phone. I stared at the screen for a few moments, wondering if it was just a technical error. _Of course it was_. Oikawa’s a smart boy. He knows where the path to Nationals is. He has been let down by his teammates time and time again, for they are too weak to assist him in his vast endeavours towards Nationals. But if he leaves that poor excuse of a team, he will have an easy gateway to his goal. His need.

When I dialled the number again, there was beeping. Continuous beeping. _Well, I guess I will just pay him a visit sometime this week_. Poor, poor Oikawa. He is blinded by the lies of those Aoba Johsai-ans. I want to save him from that infertile soil before it can cripple him and render him useless. Oikawa is a flower that I would like to cultivate. After all, two powerful people should bring their strengths together to create an even bigger strength. I do not understand why it is so hard for him to see that.


	4. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GRAPEFRUIT

Today, we had a club meeting after school to discuss methods of persuading Oikawa to join Shiratorizawa. Semi suggested that maybe we just ‘forget about it’ and ‘do some practice for once’. I vehemently refused his idea. _How dare he_ , I thought. Oikawa belongs here. I can’t believe that Semi would suggest that we just ‘forget’ about Oikawa. With that boy, we could make it to Nationals even more easily than we already do. I see it in his eyes — he wants Nationals, but he can’t get it.

I was about to give up and leave the meeting, but Tsutomu finally came up with the brilliant idea to bake Oikawa some volleyball cookies and take them to his house. I applauded him for his sheer brilliance — after all, nobody can resist the temptation of food — and I got to work on gathering ingredients. I called my grandfather, who works on a farm, and I asked him if he would allow me to make the vast journey in order to obtain rare fruits from his farm. He obliged. I thanked him before hanging up. I put on some overalls, put on some farmer boots and tried to walk out, only for Semi to stop me. He said that this was ‘unnecessary’ and that we couldn’t let our guard down just because we were undefeated champions. I simply told him to stop being so obtuse and walked through the door.

Grandfather, I will find you. I will obtain those rich fruits you speak of.

And I will feed them to Oikawa.

 

I wonder if he likes grapefruit.


	5. Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima takes his stalkyness one step further >_<

It took me four hours, but I have returned with a selection of fresh fruits. Tendou was waiting for me at the train station, and he nicked a cherry when I wasn’t looking. He said it was almost as sweet as I am, to which I responded that it was impossible for a human to taste like a fruit. He slapped his head and asked me if I’d been dropped on the head as a baby.

Tendou and I prepared all sorts of sugary treats for Oikawa. Cupcakes, cherry brownies and all sorts of things. Due to my strict diet, I couldn’t taste any of them, but Tendou said that they tasted good. But, he said that he could imagine something that would taste even better in his mouth. And then he did a weird one-eyed blink, which confused me. There are times when I wish that I knew what Tendou was thinking. Sometimes, I wonder if he’s just as fixated on this mission of mine as I am. Everyone ridicules me for it, but they don’t understand how _strong_ Shiratorizawa would be with Oikawa on our side. I’d feel stronger with a setter like him at our arsenal.

Tendou’s giggling at the word “arsenal” because it has the word “arse” in it. Very mature, Tendou. I don’t appreciate you reading over my shoulder. If you want to make yourself useful, go and wrap up the treats so that I can take them to Oikawa. I’d like to get them out of the kitchen and to Oikawa’s house before they get cold. Luckily enough, I was able to use various technologies in order to track down Oikawa’s home address. It only cost me four-thousand yen! Now, I will find him. And my treats will seduce him into submission.

Tendou’s giggling again. But even louder. Apparently, I have an “awkward” way of reading things. That’s absurd of you, Tendou. I meant what I said. My treats will seduce him into submission. What is wrong with that? To seduce is to _entice_ , to _lead_. I will seduce Oikawa into Shiratorizawa. What’s wrong with that?

Either way, I’m standing outside of his house now. Tendou helped me bring all eight gift baskets to his doormat before leaving. I also acquired a bunch of flowers from my granddad’s farm. I knock the door, once then twice. It’s five minutes later when Oikawa appears at the door, gasping when he sees what I’ve left at his door.

“You bought all of this?”

“No,” I told him. “I made it.” There were thirteen flowers, each beginning with the corresponding letters for Shiratorizawa. I handed the bundle to Oikawa, who had gone bright red with embarrassment.

“I can’t eat this much, you know? I’ll balloon up,” he admitted.

“I am willing to help you consume these.” Even despite the diet I was on, it wouldn’t hurt me to eat a little. Besides, I’ve always been complimented for my cooking skills.

“Alright. Well… I’ll help you carry these inside.” This was the longest time Oikawa had gone without either ignoring me or insulting me. Smile face.

 

Once we’d finished the treats, I cleared my throat and reiterated my mission to bring Oikawa closer to Shiratorizawa. “I am willing to bake for you, Oikawa.”

“You’re not my boyfriend, you know.” He chuckled. It was strange, to see Oikawa laughing and smiling so easily. He usually kept his emotions quite guarded around me.

“I need a setter that is stable like you,” I insisted. “Well-built, talented and able to lead a game.”

“Oh, so you think I’m well-built?” Oikawa smirked. “How nice of you, Wakatoshi-chan.” When I told him not to call me that absurd nickname, he burst into even more laughter. I do not understand why he was so amused by me, even now. Angry face.

“So, can I read that thing you’re writing in?” His eyes dart down to the notebook in my hands, which I’m currently scribbling at. Before I can protest, he takes

 

Man, this is WIIIILLLLD. Alright. Alright. So… fuck. Woah. Alright. First of all, I’ve never had grapefruit uwu but you’re more than welcome to introduce me to it. And I’m not coming to Shiratorizawa, so stop trying. By the way, Wakatoshi-chan. Seduce doesn’t mean _lead_ in that sense. Also, Tendou wants to fuck you. You’re welcome. Alright, have this thing back since you’re practically trying to fight me for iTTTT

 

Hours Later:

I have returned from Oikawa’s place after a lengthy discussion with him. Of course, Tendou wishes to do no such thing to me. Oikawa is just overly dramatic. Our friendship is purely platonic. And I was not ‘fighting’ him for this notebook. I simply glared at him until he handed it back with a smirk on his face. Oikawa consented to the idea of me bringing grapefruit next time I go to his, as long as I don’t write things down while they’re happening. He was “creeped out like Steven’s jeepers” when he saw that I’d paid money to find out his address, but he said he didn’t mind since he still wasn’t going to come to Shiratorizawa. Happy face. I have come to the conclusion that while I will still write down my ideas in here, I will try to focus on forming an inner dialogue with myself. Even if it takes the entire school year, I will bring Oikawa to Shiratorizawa.

  
I will.

In fact, I look quite forward to going to his house next week. He said that as long as I bring him food, he will hear me out. Do not fret, Oikawa. I will save you from Seijoh.

I will make you anew, Oikawa.


	6. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima doesn't like the idea of Seijoh using Oikawa incorrectly.

After school, I had a meeting with my team, asking them to contribute all the different ways I could get Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa. They were angry because it was a Friday and they wanted to “practice”, but after much negotiation, they were kind enough to give me exactly seven methods. I will list my method down, close this book and at the end of the day, I will return and say how it went.

Method of the Day: **Write a song for Oikawa and sing it to him**.

 

I will write down the song here. Semi was kind enough to help me create this song for him.

Oikawa, Oikawa, won’t you come

Oikawa, Oikawa, come here now

Shiratorizawa, Shira-za, Shira-za

Shiratorizawa is where you need to come

 

I will treat you to a fruit cage, sweeter than any

Smash it open and reap the rewards

Or like your motto says, “Hit it ‘til it breaks”

Just make sure you don’t serve it to my face.

 

Seijoh can’t use you right, they can’t use you the way you deserve

We’ll make use of you well and develop your killer serve

Oikawa, Oikawa, we’ll take you on that path you so desire

If you just retire from Seijoh and come to Shiratorizawa.

 

Hopefully, singing this song to him goes well. I will phone him at seven p.m., by which time, he should not be practicing. Hopeful face.

***

      “Did you write that, Wakatoshi-chan?” Oikawa was chortling on the other end of the phone, unable to hold back his amusement. He’s been laughing for the past ten minutes. I do not understand. Why is he so amused by me?

      “Yes. It is a song expressing Shiratorizawa’s need for you.” He began to snort with even more laughter. In fact, it sounded like he was choking. I would’ve followed up with an enquiry about his health, but then he spoke.

      “You’re the best.”

      “I know. I’m Miyagi’s best ace. I’m also in Japan’s top three.”

      I could hear teeth-grinding on Oikawa’s end of the phone. “I take it back.”

      “I hope you enjoy it.” I wasn’t sure what he’d taken, but whatever it was, I hope that he has fun with it.

      “I’m hanging up now. Bastard.” Abruptly, he hung up the phone. It saddened me, since I was going to ask if he wanted an encore. Clearly not.

***

Continuation of Day 5:

The method was a failure. So far, I’ve had five failures. Tomorrow should work out a little better. At least, I hope so.

Oikawa, I’m not done pursuing you.


	7. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima and Tendou decide to dine and dash.

So far, I have been ridiculed by Seijoh, laughed at by Oikawa and burnt by my oven. I am quite frustrated right now. Angry face.

It is Saturday, so I cannot convene with the rest of Shiratorizawa. I have arranged to meet with Tendou at twelve o’clock today, so I am hoping that our meet will bring forth a solution to Oikawa’s problem. He told me to wear something comfortable, but I do not think that it’s socially acceptable to wear pajamas in public. Especially ones with purple sheep on them.

Either way, I am looking forward to enacting the sixth plan of today: making a music video for my song, **_Zawakawa_**. (Yes, I combined the characters for zawa and kawa. I hope that it is creative enough for the likes of Oikawa.) Tendou and I will also be uploading it on my social media. Tendou reckons that we could go viral and convince the world to come to Shiratorizawa, along with some “hot busty redheads”. I cannot fathom how a female with big breasts would be enough to bring Oikawa to Shiratorizawa, but Tendou’s insisting that it’s the way to go. Personally, my only worry is getting Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa. Everyone’s beginning to lose focus on the Shiratorizawa mission. Sad face.

***

      “You look good,” Tendou said, waving me over to his table. It seemed that he’d reserved a small lunch table for the two of us to eat at. The table was draped in deep red cotton; the chairs were cushioned with plush velvet and there were two glasses brimming with ice-cold water. Small droplets of condensation rolled down the glass, stopped short of the cotton tablecloth as if avoiding it. _Well, red’s always been unlucky_. Either way, for a music video discussion, it seemed awfully extravagant. _How can Tendou afford this?_

      “Thank you, Tendou.” I nodded once at him in thanks before settling down into my chair. He smirked at the sound of my voice.

      “Ehh? You’re not going to compliment me?” He raised an eyebrow at me, giving me the illusion that they’d shoot right off his face any second.

      “You were expecting a compliment?”

      He slapped his forehead, although I don’t know why. “No, I was expecting you to slap me.” I reached my hand out and slapped him across the face. Not long after, he let out a delayed cry of pain.

      “Is something wrong?” I allowed my hand to return to where it had previously been resting on my side of the table.

      “I was being sarcastic! You weren’t actually meant to slap me!” He had a very visible slap mark on his cheek and a frown to match.

      “Ah, pardon…” There was a waiter in a dark suit holding a bill in his hand. “I have the bill for your ice-cold waters, sirs.” I hadn’t even had a chance to sip my water yet. Tendou had spilt his after almost being knocked over by the force of my slap.

      “Thanks, waiter-san!” Tendou plucked the bill out of the waiter’s hand, only to gasp when he read the total price. “What? Two thousand yen?!”

      “Yes.” The waiter began to launch into a clearly-rehearsed speech. “Our water is infused with exotic electrolytes and life-rejuvenating vitamins, which will bring life to your skin and—”

      “Boy. Two thousand yen. Two _thousand_? Two thousand?!” The waiter backed away slightly when Tendou gave him a murderous glance. Tendou seemed to lose his temper quite often, actually.

      “Is there a problem, sir?”

      Tendou looked around himself. The restaurant was empty. The door was open. His wallet was empty. It wasn’t long before he turned to look at me. His intent was already made clear on his face, but he yelled out the one phrase just to make sure I understood.

      “Wakatoshi, run!”

***

Continuation of Day 6:

Tendou and I got taken to a _koban_. The waiter had assembled a whole crew of workers ready to stop us from leaving. Apparently, it was their ice-cold water that gave them the ‘power’. Tendou insisted that he had intended on having it all as the music video; that he’d _planned_ it. Although, I do not see how being restrained by fourteen restaurant workers fits in with my message.

Either way, I’m frustrated. The restaurant refused to give us their footage. They told us ‘never to return’, actually. The police said that since it’s a small crime, they’d let us go. But we couldn’t do it again. Humongous angry face.

Hopefully, I can still convince Oikawa that Shiratorizawa is the right place for him. I won’t stop trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A 'koban' is like a police box in Japan, in case anyone was wondering


	8. Day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima gains access to Oikawa's Facebook

Method of the day (courtesy of Semi): getting into Oikawa’s Facebook account.

Today, I made a fake email under the name of ‘shiraglory@live.com’. I sent Oikawa an email about how he can gain supreme setting powers if he sends me the password to his Facebook account. He believed it and sent me his login details. Interestingly enough, his password was ‘milkbread’. It appears that he likes milk bread, since his email was boikawawithmilkbread@live.com.

Upon gaining access, I typed in a status saying ‘Shiratorizawa is the best. Smiley face’. Straightaway, I got a message from Iwaizumi saying ‘Get off his account, you bastard’. It saddened me that he could be so aggressive towards me. He even sent me a video of a rat falling down the stairs. He said that it was me. Sad face.

A few girls from my school messaged him, asking if they could show him around the school. They added a lot of wink faces too. Perhaps they had something in their eyes? I don’t know. There was also one girl who sent a picture of her wearing a ‘Shiratorizawa’ shirt. She asked him what he thought of her shirt. Personally, I think that my Shiratorizawa shirt is a lot more stylish, but if she likes it I am not one to judge.

 

It wasn’t long before I got a barrage of angry calls from Oikawa, asking if I was the ‘mysterious man who promised to grant supreme setting powers’. He called me an asshole and hung up on me. Sad face. I will not give up though. I have proved to him that the people of Shiratorizawa will like him just as much as I do. I’m not done trying.

 

Today’s mission was a success. I look forward to tomorrow. Wistful face.


	9. Day 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa's coming. Just not to Shiratorizawa

Today, I took a day off school so that I could take a trip to Seijoh. I observed Oikawa and his interactions with the Aoba Johsai-ans. It seems that he is respected by his teammates and his teachers alike. However, they do not recognise him for the true potential that I see. I have hid inside trash cans and used plungers to attach myself to the ceiling. One girl screamed when one of my plungers accidentally fell on her.

 

In fact, Oikawa and Iwaizumi seem to be going off somewhere. I will cease my writing so that I can review this data with my own eyes. From what it looks like, they are going to the toilet together.

***

      I managed to make it to the toilets before they could get there first. It was a tight squeeze, but I managed to fit myself inside one of them. I could hear the sound of the door being wedged shut, and then there was Iwaizumi’s gruff voice.

      “How long do you think we’ve got?”

      There was a gaily laugh from Oikawa. “Long enough.” I was quite confused. Unless they were planning to defecate the toilets, why would they need so much time?

      It just so happened that they came into the same cubicle as the one I was hiding in. The door slammed shut and they began to kiss one another. It appeared that Oikawa might’ve needed encouragement to use the toilet, since Iwaizumi was beginning to take Oikawa’s trousers off. He pushed Oikawa against the cubicle wall and put his hands in Oikawa’s pants. He pulled away from Iwaizumi’s lips and growled. I believe he was probably thinking about what could’ve been if he had chosen to attend Shiratorizawa.

      “Ah… Iwa-chan… you’re so good at this…”

      “I wonder how I can make you come,” Iwaizumi murmured, smashing their lips together once again. I wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. Maybe Iwaizumi was massaging Oikawa’s hips. Massages always feel nice. I have a foot massage machine at home since I do a lot of running. It does wonders.

      “Iwa…Iwa-chan!” Oikawa’s eyes sprung open at once, his hands splayed on the cubicle wall behind him. “I’m coming!”

      I popped my head out of the toilet. “To Shiratorizawa?”

      The scream that the two let out almost blew my eardrums. There was some white stuff on Iwaizumi’s hands. Probably just some massaging oil. _Although, it wasn’t there before_ …

      Oikawa ran out of the cubicle, but Iwaizumi stayed there. He looked like a personified version of an angry face. “You fucking creep! Why are you in the toilet?!”

      “It’s good for the body. The water has relaxing properties.”

      Iwaizumi slammed the toilet lid on my face and flushed the toilet. Not just once, but four times. I could feel my body being sucked in with the flow of the water. I tried to grab hold of the toilet lid, but it was no use. I was stuck in some dark cavern of caves and the stuff that nightmares were made of. I’d most likely be spending the rest of my day making my way back out to the outside world.

      If only I knew where Oikawa was coming. He said he was coming, but he didn’t say if he was coming to Shiratorizawa or not. That’s what he probably meant, since he looked so happy. Either way, I feel like today was a partial success. I’m one step closer to bringing Oikawa to Shiratorizawa. He admitted that he was coming. Happy face.


	10. Day 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima discovers 'meems'.

Today, Tendou asked me if I wanted to make something called a ‘meem’. He showed me some examples. A cartoon frog on a unicycle saying ‘dat boi’. It was spelt wrong, which made me feel quite angry and irritated.

He asked me if I had pictures of Oikawa. I said yes. I had gathered a collection of pictures of Oikawa in order to supplement my desire to bring him to Shiratorizawa. Some of them are hanging in the club room so that everyone in Shiratorizawa can feel like he is there with us in spirit. I feel that it was a very wise idea of mine. I would’ve gone to Seijoh to take more pictures, but I was called into the office by my principal this morning. He told me that if I was ever seen on the Seijoh grounds again, they would not hesitate to get me arrested for trespassing. So, I had to settle for my existing pictures of Oikawa.

***

      “So, here’s what we’re going to do.” Tendou was sitting at my laptop, dragging some pictures onto a plain white background. “We take these pictures of Oikawa, and we caption it ‘if only there were guys like this at Shiratorizawa’. The fangirls will go crazy, they’ll repost it and once the asshole sees how much people like him—”

      “He’s not an asshole. He’s Oikawa Tooru.”

      Tendou sighed. “Whatever. I just want you to realise that this is pointless. We need to focus on keeping our place at Nationals.”

      “We won’t get there without Oikawa.”

      Tendou sighed once again.

      “Do you have something stuck in your throat, Tendou? You’re sighing a lot.” He shook his head. It appeared that he was lying, but I didn’t question it. It seemed that he was completely focused on today’s plan. Making ‘meems’ of Oikawa.

***

      I convinced everyone from the volleyball team to upload the meme (if the word ‘me’ is pronounced mee, why is meme pronounced as ‘meem’ rather than ‘me-me’? That also makes me quite agitated. What is happening to the Japanese language?) onto their Facebook accounts. It wasn’t long before it went viral. The meme was even circulating on that app about birds, ‘Twitter’. I texted Oikawa to inform him of the news, again reminding him that Shiratorizawa is the right place for him. But he sent me a text message saying that Iwaizumi broke up with him and that he doesn’t have the time to deal with me right now. I asked him where he was broken, but he didn’t respond.

      “Can you forget about this whole Oikawa thing now?”

      “Tendou, don’t be obtuse.”

      He sighed before getting up and saying that he needed to go home.

***

To conclude, I feel that today has gone well. All I must do is convince Oikawa that Shiratorizawa will be able to fix wherever he is broken. We will make him anew.

We will make him a true member of Shiratorizawa.


	11. Day 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima wants to embrace Oikawa on live television

Method of the day: Embrace Oikawa on live television

Today, we played a match against one of the best colleges in the prefecture. They beat us 3-2. There were reporters that had come to watch, and they asked me to speak on my thoughts about Shiratorizawa as a team. I said that while I felt that we were complete as a team, we were missing a setter that could unite all of our plays together. I told them that Oikawa Tooru was the setter that would make Shiratorizawa the ultimate team. They seemed surprised, but they did not say anything else. My team was very angry with me for saying that, although I do not understand why. I had a rock thrown at me when I was walking home today. I saw a flash of dark hair and then it was gone. I could not decipher for the life of me who it was.

The interview was on TV, so I was hoping that Oikawa would see it. He has not messaged me yet though, which is quite worrying. I sent him a text asking if he had made up his mind about joining Shiratorizawa yet. He left me on read. He posted a sad face on his Facebook status today. Perhaps he is worried that Shiratorizawa might not accept him. I will have to go and curb his worries tomorrow.

Today was uneventful. I have more hopes for tomorrow, though. Shiratorizawa is supreme. Shiratorizawa is absolute. My will is absolute. Oikawa won’t be able to resist Shiratorizawa for much longer.


	12. Day 11

Method of the Day: Give Oikawa a piece of Shiratorizawa

Today, I went straight to Oikawa’s house after school ended. I was shouted at by my team for ‘skipping practice’ but I informed them that this endeavour was necessary. They told me to make sure that I came back tomorrow. I said that I would return when Oikawa did. They said that Oikawa couldn’t return because he was never there, to which I said that they were blaspheming.

***

      “Let me guess. You want me to come to Shiratorizawa.” Oikawa was standing at the door in his pajamas. I hadn’t even had a chance to speak—he just opened the door and started speaking. He was holding a box of tissues in his hand and he was shirtless.

      “No. I wanted to give you this.” I handed a Shiratorizawa jacket to him. He looked at it, wrinkled his nose at it and threw it on the ground.

      “No thanks. Go home.”

      “But it’s made of insulating fabric. It will keep you warm.” I picked it up and handed it to him again. He took it and shrugged it over his shoulders.

      “This is pretty warm, actually. I’ll keep it.”

      “Because you’re coming to Shiratorizawa?”

      Oikawa rolled his eyes. He didn’t respond; he just walked into his house. I assume that his eye roll was his way of saying yes. Since he didn’t close the door, I walked in behind him. He went into his living room and watched Titanic. He was crying for a long time. He fell asleep on the couch. He must’ve been dreaming of Shiratorizawa. Either way, I still wasn’t going to give up. The jacket was the first step. Now, it was time to draw him closer and closer to Shiratorizawa.


	13. Day 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima finally makes some progress with Oikawa.

Method of the Day: Shiratorizawa-ise Oikawa’s house.

Since Oikawa fell asleep on the couch yesterday, I chose to go and place little notes around his house, giving him reasons as to why he should come to Shiratorizawa. I don’t think he’s awake yet, but soon, he will behold the spectacular work that I have done.

***

      “Ah, shit. This towel’s still damp,” I could hear Oikawa saying. “I need a fresh one.” There was the sound of a wardrobe door opening, the sound of a towel tumbling out and then the ‘tch’ that came from Oikawa’s lips. “ _If you go to Shiratorizawa, the towels are better quality_. God, that Ushiwaka…”

      By the time that Oikawa made it into the bathroom, he had a pile of notes in his hand, all of which had been crumpled. He went over to the shower, muttering to himself when he realised that the water was taking ages to heat up. Then, he began to take his clothes off while complaining about the water pressure of his shower.

      “The showers are hotter at Shiratorizawa,” I quipped. He shrieked when he realised that I was standing behind the door. Perhaps he was overcome by shock about Shiratorizawa’s showers. They’re quite grand. Semi seems to think so too. He goes in there with Shirabu often and they seem to marvel quite loudly at how good the water feels.

      “Why the hell are you still here?” He was flushing while pulling his shirt back on, his eyes wide. “Have you been here all night?”

      “You did not invite me out formally, so I couldn’t leave.”

      Oikawa sighed, slapped his forehead. “You’re invited out formally. Now leave.”

      “I cannot. I’m hungry.”

      “I want to shower!”

      I blinked at him. “But I’m hungry. It’s customary to feed your guest.”

      “Jesus, are you planning on staying here all day?”

      I nodded. “Of course.” He slapped his forehead while muttering ‘You can’t be serious’ to himself, but he reluctantly looked up and nodded.

      “Remind me never to let you into my house again.”

      “I can remind you daily if you—”

      “—come to Shiratorizawa, I know.”

***

Over the course of the day, I was slowly able to condition Oikawa’s brain to accept Shiratorizawa. I managed to get his toast to say ‘COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA’. He threw it in the bin and made his own. He made some coffee, where an ‘S’ showed up in frothy coffee. I also managed to get his phone and change all his backgrounds to the Shiratorizawa logo. I don’t think he’s noticed yet. He got a little bit annoyed when I started following him everywhere, even to the toilet, and tried to hit me. I told him that the spirit of Shiratorizawa was following me, to which he responded, “Shiratorizawa isn’t godly!”

He gave me a magazine and told me to make myself comfortable since I was acting like a ‘cosy little bastard’. Whatever that means, I don’t know. But, he’s fallen asleep now. Since he hasn’t formally walked me to the door, I intend on staying the night. Perhaps I’ll watch that Titanic movie that Oikawa was watching. Maybe there’s some sort of subliminal message in the movie that’s causing him to resist the pull of Shiratorizawa. I need to free him.

It is my duty as a Shiratorizawan.

***

      “Hey, Ushiwaka.” He’d been about to add a _–chan­_ but he’d stopped himself at the last second. Oikawa walked into the living room and sat down, looking at the screen. I’d just sat through the finale of Titanic. “Hey, you’re crying…”

      “Is that so? I was not aware.” I put a hand to my face, realising that my cheeks were in fact quite damp. I wiped my tears away and looked back over at Oikawa, who was handing out a handkerchief to me.

      “You’re not so bad, you know. You still piss me off though.” Once I’d finished with the handkerchief, I handed it back to him. He raised an eyebrow, took it and leaned back in his chair. “By the way, if you’re going to stick Shiratorizawa posters all over the house, don’t use nails. The walls aren’t too sturdy.”

      “Yeah.” I nodded. “You look like you’ve been crying too.”

      Oikawa turned his head away, let out a slight huff. “It’s nothing. Just stuff.”

      “By any chance, is it because you want to go to Shiratorizawa?”

      Oikawa didn’t even bother to react in annoyance this time around. It seemed that the idea of going to Shiratorizawa was beginning to grow on him. _It’s working_. “No. It’s because Iwa-chan’s dating some girl. I hate her.”

      “The girls are better at Shiratorizawa,” I quipped.

      “I really couldn’t care less about girls right now.” Oikawa sighed and stood up. He was slowly pacing around the room, looking as if he were deep in thought. “I’m surprised you even _notice_ girls.”

      “Of course. They’re in my classes, so I have to.”

      Oikawa slapped his forehead, presumably because he was annoyed. Tendou did the same thing a lot. “I mean _romantically_. Jesus, Ushiwaka.”

      “Romance?” I tilted my head at him quizzically. “Why would I care about something so preposterous?”

      He stopped his pacing, turning his head so that he was looking directly at me. “You don’t care about romance?”

      I shook my head.

      “So… what do you care about?”

      “You.” That was what I’d been focused on these past few weeks, getting Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa. It was hard getting the team to co-operate; it was hard getting them to understand, but it was what I cared about. A complete team, a team that would only be possible with the likes of Oikawa.

      “W…What?” Oikawa had flushed a bright red.

      “I care about you. Is there a problem?”

      He didn’t respond. He stared at me for a few moments, opening and closing his lips. Then, he finally stuttered out “I need to feed my pet goldfish!” before running out of the room. I thought it was odd since I hadn’t seen a goldfish in his room, but I didn’t question it. It was late, so I curled myself up on the couch and went to sleep. I wasn’t sure whether I’d made much progress with getting Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa, but hopefully it would all come together in the end.

      That night, I dreamt of swans. And Oikawa.


	14. Day 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushiwaka doesn't want any harm to come to his balls.

 

      After working tirelessly for almost two weeks, I had come to the conclusion that I would require a period of rest if I were to carry out this plan properly. As it was Saturday, I would need to go home and prepare to meet the team at the Shiratorizawa gym. But I would at least need to go and give Oikawa his daily reminder.

      “Ushiwaka, you awake?” Oikawa walked into the room, wearing his Aoba Johsai volleyball uniform. “I’ve got practice in a bit. I’ll see you out, though.”

      “Alright.” I got up and the two of us walked to the door. It was then that my ‘Zawakawa’ song began to play off my phone. “Ah, sorry.” I plucked my phone out of my pocket and answered it.

      “Wakatoshi, can you _please_ come to practice today?” It was Tendou. He sounded quite agitated. “We have a practice match against some college called Seido two weeks from now. We need to strategize about their players.”

      “Yes. I will be there. Is that all, Tendou?”

      Tendou sighed. “Yes, that’s all.” He hung up without saying goodbye, which I felt to be quite rude. I tried to ring him back to remind him that he should’ve said goodbye, but he didn’t pick up. I frowned and placed my phone back in my pocket. Looking up, I saw that the door was wide open and Oikawa was standing to the side of it.

      “Oikawa. I have a secret to tell you.”

      “Is that so?” He smirked. “Go ahead then, Ushiwaka.”

      I leaned close to his ear and was about to tell him about Shiratorizawa’s supreme gym facilities and brass band, but then he kissed me. On the cheek. He was blushing, blushing quite hard.

      “Did you bump your lips on my cheek?”

      Oikawa gulped, shrugged his shoulders. He thought for a few moments before responding. “Well… I just wanted to say thanks. I don’t feel so sad about the break-up now.”

      “Are you planning to come to Shiratorizawa?”

      “I’ll text you later.” He waved goodbye and shut the door. I wasn’t satisfied though, so I knocked on the door. He didn’t answer at first, but once I’d knocked fifty consecutive times, he opened the door once again. “What is it?”

      “You didn’t answer my question. It’s rude not to answer—” He closed the door once again. This time, I had to knock exactly seventy-three times before he opened it. “—questions, especially when it’s a question this important.”

      “Are you planning to come to Seijoh?”

      “Huh?” I hadn’t been expecting him to ask that. “I have no interest in Seijoh.”

      “That’s my answer. Later, Ushiwaka.” He closed the door. I was about to knock it, but he opened it before I could. “If you knock again, I’ll cut your hand off.” He closed it again. I was about to knock on the door, but he opened it once again and added another sentence with a dark look. “Touch this door again and I’ll cut your balls off too.” I didn’t touch the door when it closed shut. I didn’t want Oikawa to destroy my volleyballs. After all, I was very fond of them. Especially the one my father gifted to me.

      With nothing else to do, I began to jog the distance back to my house. It would be a while before I made it under all this heat, but I’d get there. For the whole way home, I found myself thinking about the way Oikawa’s lips had felt against my cheek. It had felt… _warm_. Comforting. _If only he’d come to Shiratorizawa_ …

***

      Once practice came to an end, we all went over to the boys’ locker room to get changed. Semi and Shirabu were standing in one corner, quietly speaking to one another while everyone else was gathered in the centre, Tsutomu and Tendou engaging in a deep conversation. There was a framed picture of Oikawa in there, a subtle reminder that he would be joining our team soon. (Tendou had drawn a fake moustache on it, much to my annoyance. It didn’t even look like a moustache; it looked like a poor attempt at a snake.)

      “Wakatoshi-kun, did you hurt your cheek?” Tendou was looking at me curiously. I hadn’t realised it, but I’d been holding a hand to the same cheek that Oikawa’s lips touched. I let my hand drop down to my side and turned my gaze to Tendou.

      “No, I’m alright.”

      “Good, good.” He smiled. “What do you say we go to the movies today? I hear there’s a really good movie called Endings and Beginnings. It’s about a bunch of teenage volleyball players.”

      I shook my head. “It’s almost seven o’clock. I need to go home.” I’d heard of the movie and I _had_ been interested in seeing it, but I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to focus. My thoughts kept drifting over to Oikawa, thinking of ways to get him to just _come to Shiratorizawa_. I was starting to become restless, considering how much I thought about it. At first, it had just been a little idea in my head, but over the months it had become a sort of obsession, a _need_. I couldn’t stop thinking about how stronger Shiratorizawa would be with Oikawa. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much more formidable we’d be if I had Oikawa as my right-hand man.

      “What are you glaring at?”

      I blinked up at Tendou, who looked slightly confused. “Ah. Nothing,” I responded. “Well, I should be off.” At some point, everyone had left the locker room, save for Semi and Shirabu. They were walking off towards the showers, knowing that they’d be alone in there.

      Tendou sighed, but nodded. “Can I ask you something?”

      “Sure.”

      “Do you _really_ think we need Oikawa that badly?”

      “Yes,” I responded without hesitation. “We do.”

      “In that case, what time does he get back from school? Also, where does he live?” Tendou was getting a devious look on his face. I presume that it was because he was excited to convince Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa. “Tell me while we walk,” he insisted, coming over to my side with his backpack slung over his shoulder. I didn’t argue the point; I just walked while he trailed by my side, telling him everything he needed to know about Oikawa. Now that Tendou seemed to be even more supportive of the idea than ever, the possibility of getting Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa seemed plausible.

      And maybe, the idea of getting him to kiss my cheek again was an idea that wouldn’t be so preposterous.

      Just _maybe_.


	15. Day 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [I'm so sorry for the late update. I've had this chapter done for quite some time but I just never got around to actually posting it, oops..]
> 
> Ushijima decides to text Oikawa.

Method of the Day: Texting Oikawa

Since practice went on for so long yesterday (and since Tendou kept on asking me incessant questions) I ended up going to bed late. As a result, I am too tired to try and entice Oikawa with cookies and sandwiches, so texting him would be the wiser option — at least for today.

***

**Morning, Ushiwaka ^_^**

**-Oikawa [Sent 9:32]**

**\---**

**Good morning, Oikawa. Please come to Shiratorizawa.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 11:49]**

**\---**

**I’m good v_v**

**-Oikawa [Sent 11:50]**

**\---**

**You’d be better if you came to Shiratorizawa.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 11:52]**

**\---**

**By the way, what are those little pictures you keep adding to your texts?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 11:53]**

**\---**

**They’re not pictures, they’re emojis xD**

**-Oikawa [Sent 11:54]**

**\---**

**Speaking of pictures, can you stop sending me Shiratorizawa postcards? I can’t shred so many at once.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 11:55]**

**\---**

**There’s only a few hundred more to go.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 11:55]**

**\---**

**You really are a bastard.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 11:56]**

**\---**

**Are you angry?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 11:57]**

**\---**

**You did not use an emoji there. You took a while to respond too.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 11:59]**

**\---**

**You’re leaving me on read.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 12:04]**

**\---**

**Sad face.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 12:05]**

**\---**

**Really sad face.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 12:12]**

 

      He stopped responding after that. _I’ll have to go and get him to respond to me tomorrow, then_. Sighing, I put my phone down on the bed and went downstairs to cook myself something. Today would be a long day.


	16. Day 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima wants to be a knight in shining armour.

Day 15:

      I spent the entire school day thinking about the text messages I’d sent Oikawa. He wouldn’t respond to any of them, not with those emojis or any of his usual insults. So, when the bell went, I was quick to leave the classroom. I was pulled back by Shirabu, who appeared to be concerned.

      “Oi. You’re not skipping practice again, right?”

      “It is necessary if I’m going to bring Oikawa here.”

      Shirabu sighed and let my shoulder go. “You need to rethink your priorities, _Captain_.” I wasn’t sure why he was putting special emphasis on the word ‘captain’. I fully intended to let Oikawa be the captain once he arrived. I would still be the ace, though.

      “Have you seen Tendou, by any chance? He was not in class today.”

      Shirabu shook his head. “No. He’s pissed at you though.”

      “Has he?” I looked down at my clothes, noting that they were just as clean as usual. “I don’t see anything reminiscent of urine.” Shirabu sighed, shook his head.

      “Just… come to practice tomorrow, damnit.” Semi poked his head in, smiled over at Shirabu.

      “Hey, Shirabu. Let’s go.” At the sound of Semi’s voice, Shirabu’s aura seemed to change entirely. He smiled and went towards Semi, who grabbed his wrist and practically raced out of the room with him. It looked like they were really excited to go to practice. _It’ll be even better when Oikawa arrives_. That was what was on my mind when I got onto the bus and sat down, closing my eyes as I thought to myself. The sun was shining just that little bit warmer today; the wind was blowing just that little bit harder. It was the perfect weather for a walk.

***

      I got off the bus one stop early and walked down to Oikawa’s house, enjoying the feel of the sun. While it wasn’t warm enough that it made me want to take off my blazer, it was still quite pleasant. In the distance, I could hear groaning, feet against asphalt and the smacking of skin against skin. _I wonder what that is…_

      Realising that something serious might’ve been happening, I began to sprint faster in the direction of Oikawa’s house, only to stop dead in my tracks when I realised just what was happening. I saw a flash of red hair, heard the loud “I’m sick of you!” and the footsteps, the noises. Tendou was there, circling around a comatose Oikawa.

      “Tendou.” I stepped out, hurried towards Oikawa. His eyes were shut; he had a purplish bruise soft at the base of his cheek. He was out cold. “What are you doing?”

      “What does it look like I’m doing?”

      “Well, it appears that you’ve gotten yourself into an altercation with Oikawa. His key’s on the floor, which means you were probably waiting here for him to come home. In other words, this appears to be an ambush.” Tendou let out a deep sigh, stepped away from Oikawa’s body.

      “You need to give up on him, for God’s sake. This is a _waste of time_ ,” Tendou urged, glaring down at the still-unconscious Oikawa. “ _He’s_ a waste of time.”

      “Don’t say that.” Oikawa was anything _but_ a waste of time. He was ambitious, popular and had a good taste in films. Plus, he likes my cooking and regularly compliments me on it. “I don’t want to give up on him. That would be stupid.”

      “You’ll get kicked off the team, Wakatoshi!” Tendou clutched his face in frustration, let out a gargled noise of anger. “Stop this. _Come on_.”

      “Tendou. Go home.”

      “No!” He went to kick Oikawa’s unconscious body, but I rushed forward and grabbed him before I was even aware of what I was doing. My body was moving on autopilot, restraining him and stopping him from moving.

      “Don’t hurt him.” I walked him a safe distance away from Oikawa’s body and let his arms go. “Go home, Tendou.” He still seemed frustrated, but he didn’t argue the point. He just sighed and walked away from me, his feet dragging against the asphalt as he did so. I went towards Oikawa’s body, kneeling down and gently probing the bruise. He didn’t appear to be awake, otherwise he probably would’ve swatted my face in irritation. _Alright_. With a concentrated effort, I hoisted him into my arms and proceeded to make my way to the bus stop. I just needed to keep him with me until he was conscious.

***

I spent the rest of my day tending to Oikawa’s injuries and making sure that he was comfortable. It’s night time and he still hasn’t awoken, so I’ve tucked him into my bed. I’m currently lying down on a nearby futon, but I can’t sleep until I write down a few more sentences.

I am unsure of how to feel right now. Oikawa might get angry at me, or Tendou might shout again. I wish everyone would stop being sad. Everyone could get along if they **just joined Shiratorizawa**.

I’m going to go to sleep now. Sleepy face.

***

      I jerked up in my futon at the sound of a loud scream. The lights were on, bright and harsh on my eyes. Then, there was the loud “Why am I surrounded by posters of myself?!” Realising that it was only Oikawa’s voice, I could feel my muscles beginning to relax. “Wait, _Ushiwaka_?!” He was now looking at me with those brown eyes of his, wide with surprise. His hand went to his cheek, which had a purplish bruise on it. He let out a slight whimper, but said no more.

      “You were hurt, so I brought you here.”

      Oikawa blinked, looked around my room a bit more. He touched the ‘Welcome to Shiratorizawa’ postcards I had sitting on my desk, the Shiratorizawa pillows and matching bedsheets and the countless posters in my room. He was quiet for a few moments, taking in the atmosphere around him.

      “The Seijoh bedsheets are better.”

      I blinked back at him in confusion. “But the Shiratorizawa ones are made out of satin. Seijoh only has cotton.”

      “I prefer cotton to satin.” Oikawa walked back over to my bed, sat down gingerly. “How long was I out for?”

      I stifled a yawn before responding. “Most of the day.”

      “Oh, you’re tired.” Oikawa slapped his head. “Sorry. You’ve been looking after me, right? You can go back to sleep.” I felt a little surprised by the smile that appeared on Oikawa’s face, especially since he’d been annoyed at me these past few days. _Maybe things are alright now_.

      I nodded and laid back down on my futon, looking up at the ceiling. The lights flickered off, and moments later I could feel myself beginning to phase into a gradual rest, my chest gently rising up and down. _Ah. Peace_.


	17. Day 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to upload this chapter >_<  
> basically, I wrote a whole load of chapters of this but forgot to save it. Word crashed and I lost the chapters, so I was too pissed to re-write them. But I finally got around to doing it (although I'm still annoyed) so, bon appetit.

      “Ushiwaka, Ushiwaka, Ushiwaka- _chan_!” The –chan almost blew my eardrums out, much to Oikawa’s delight. He was kneeling at my side with a Shiratorizawa megaphone, casually shouting my name into it.

      “I’m awake,” I grumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I allowed my mind to adjust to the fact that it was daytime before acknowledging Oikawa at last. “I trust you’re feeling okay now.”

      “Yup! One-hundred percent!” Oikawa dropped the megaphone and put his hands in an ‘OK!’ gesture while grinning. “I remember now. That asshole Shiratorizawa guy with the red hair punched me. And you want me to come to Shiratorizawa when there’s people like that…” The look on his face had become slightly resentful. I internally cursed Tendou. _Oikawa might’ve changed his mind on Shiratorizawa if not for that incident_.

      “But doesn’t Iwaizumi hit you?”

      Oikawa flushed. “That’s different! And _don’t mention his name_!”

      “Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot you broke up with him.”

      “Ushiwaka!” Oikawa did a ‘karate-chop’ on my head, messing up my hair. “You’re so… _agh_! And you hurt my hand! Why is your head so hard?” Oikawa continued to shoot questions at me, none of which actually seemed to have a point to them. This was Oikawa, overly eccentric and quick to irritation. It was endearing; the exact kind of personality that would enhance Shiratorizawa.

      “Say, Ushiwaka. I was meaning to ask you something,” Oikawa said at last, realising that I wasn’t planning to answer his numerous questions. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t follow them for the life of me. “Why do you love farmers so much?” His eyes darted over to the massive poster of Fukuoka Masanobu on my wall, the pinnacle of all things Japanese-farming.

      “They do a great service for our world. They cultivate, they grow and they feed. Plus, my grandfather’s a farmer. I sometimes visit his farm so that I can get fresh ingredients,” I said, lifting my head up from my futon. Oikawa was still crouched by my side obediently, listening with curiosity in his eyes.

      “I’ve never met my grandparents,” Oikawa said. “I’m pretty sure my paternal grandfather died a couple of years back, but I’m too young to remember it.”

      “Oh.” I clasped my hands together and bowed my head. “I offer my deepest condolences—”

      “Don’t make it awkward, idiot!” Oikawa karate-chopped my head. _Again_. He complained when it hurt him a second time, although I wasn’t too surprised. I rubbed my head, realising that he probably had the potential to give me brain damage if he wanted to. He was strong, that was for sure. “Man, I feel sorry for your parents…”

      “Why?”

      “They have to put up with you.”

      I blinked at him in confusion. “But I’m great.”

      For some reason, Oikawa was gritting his teeth in frustration. “The fact that you’re saying that so earnestly makes me even more irritated than I should be.” He stood up, stretched his limbs out and allowed a devious smile to cross his face. “Come on, _Ushiwaka-chan_. I’ll make breakfast.”

      “I have to go to Shiratorizawa,” I reminded Oikawa, pointing over at my calendar. It was Tuesday, nowhere near the end of the school week. It was only eight o’clock, so if I hurried over to school, I wouldn’t be late. Although, I’d missed volleyball practice. _Oh well. It’s not the same without Oikawa, the missing piece of Shiratorizawa_. “Actually, Oikawa. Will you come to Shira—?”

      “No, I’m not going to Shiratorizawa.” Oikawa was breathing in and out slowly, a strange fire in his eyes. Perhaps he was still mad about what Tendou did. _In fact, I’m quite irritated at Tendou too_. “I’m going to _your_ kitchen, I’m going to eat _your_ food and you’re going to grace me with _your_ company.” He grabbed my hand and almost tore my shoulder out of its socket, considering how hard he was tugging at it.

      “That hurts.”

      “Good.”

      “Please stop.”

      “No! _Baka_ , _baka_ , I’m in charge!” He stuck out his tongue childishly until I got up onto my feet. It was no use trying to argue with Oikawa when he got this way, I’d realised. It was usually best to go with whatever he wanted. Even if it _was_ in my own house. “Now, come on. Give me a tour,” he demanded, beginning to poke around my room. “Say, have you got any dirty magazines? Shiratorizawa-edition, maybe?”

      “I thought you wanted breakfast.”

      “Nah, I want to look at your room properly. You _must_ have some magazines _somewhere_ ,” Oikawa said, walking towards a drawer. _Uh-oh_.

      “Wait, not there,” I insisted, rushing towards the drawer. Sensing the panic in my voice, Oikawa only sprinted towards the drawer and tore it open. Snapshots upon snapshots of Oikawa tumbled out. Pictures of him eating, drinking, walking with Iwaizumi, pictures of him at practice, in class, even having conversations in the men’s toilets. Oikawa stared down at the pile for a few moments, picked some of the pictures up and flickered through them. I could feel the tips of my ears beginning to heat up as an awkward silence fell upon the two of us, leeching out any light-heartedness that had been there before. _Is this embarrassment? It must be_.

      After a couple of minutes, Oikawa cleared his throat and turned to face me. “How long have you had these for?” He didn’t seem _disgusted_ , but he didn’t seem to be pleased either. He had that same intrigued look on his face, but it was clouded with suspicion.

      “Just over a year.”

      “You weren’t… using these for like…” Oikawa’s cheeks flushed bright red. _What’s he thinking?_ I wanted to ask, but I could tell that the tone in the room didn’t seem to be right. “You know, getting yourself off?”

      “Getting myself off what?”

      Oikawa sighed. “You know. _Lubing the tube_ …”

      “I have no tubes which require lubrication. I’m not an engineer, Oikawa.”

      “Choking the chicken.”

      “That’s animal abuse. No farmer would willingly abuse an animal.”

      Oikawa slapped a hand to his face, thought to himself for a couple of moments. “Jeez… I don’t know how to say it without embarrassing myself. Um… volleying your balls?”

      “Are you still speaking Japanese?”

      Oikawa flushed an even deeper shade of red. “Yes! I am, in fact!” He flung the picture down onto the floor and got back up onto his feet. “Are you masturbating to these pictures of me?” He’d stuttered over the words and he wasn’t looking me in the eye at all, but he’d said it.

      “I have no need for such activities.”

      He looked up. “Eh? Don’t be ridiculous. Every guy does it…”

      “The pictures are to document my progress in getting you to like Shiratorizawa,” I insisted. “Nothing more.”

      “So…” Oikawa picked up a picture of him at the beach, wearing nothing but a Speedo. “This is for _Shiratorizawa_ , Ushiwaka? Really?” He had a raised eyebrow, a dubious look on his face.

      “Yes.”

      Oikawa burst into laughter, placed the picture back down on the ground. “Seriously, I didn’t even notice I was being followed for over a year. You should become some sort of private investigator, Ushiwaka.” Under his breath, he added, “I’ll be able to crush Shiratorizawa if you leave the team”.

      “You can’t crush Shiratorizawa. It’s your future team.”

      Oikawa rolled his eyes. “What-ever. Let’s go grab some cornflakes or something. Say, do you have any rice bread?” He was burbling on and on about food, tossing his hair and laughing every now and again with that famous smile on his face. _Hmm… I was expecting him to be more taken aback_ …

***

      “You’ve never dated someone?” Oikawa’s eyes widened. “I’ve dated loads of people. Both guys and girls, actually. I tend to lean towards guys more, though, you know?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “My parents would kill me if they found out… I mean, girls are cute but they’re not like guys. Guys are just… _different_. There’s something about that muscular exterior, strong arms, dark hair, cold eyes… it just gets me, you know?”

      “I don’t know.”

      “Plus, deep voices, stylish jeans and tight shirts, _ties and suits_ , oh _fuck_. They just look _good_ , you know?”

      “I don’t know.”

      Oikawa threw his chopsticks at me. “Stop saying ‘I don’t know’! I don’t know, I don’t know; it’s _so_ annoying!”

      “But I really don’t know,” I insisted. “You keep saying ‘you know’, ‘you know’, after every sentence but I don’t know.” Oikawa looked at his plate, then up at me, then down at his plate again. Then, recognition finally clicked in his eyes.

      “Damn, sorry. It’s my Kansai dialect kicking in,” Oikawa said, shrugging his shoulders apologetically. “My parents are from Kansai. I usually speak the dialect with them.” I nodded and handed him his chopsticks, frowning at the chopsticks.

      “You shouldn’t throw them. They’re the best chopsticks we have.”

      “Oh. Sorry!” He put his fingers into a peace sign and smiled, taking the chopsticks out of my hands and continuing to eat his omelette. We’d been sitting here for quite a bit of time, simply sharing facts about one another. It didn’t look like Oikawa planned on leaving anytime soon, much to my relief. I could spend more time persuading him to come to Shiratorizawa. But, there weren’t really any openings in the conversation. Not _yet_ , anyway.

      “I don’t notice those things.”

      Oikawa looked up and talked through a mouth stuffed with omelette. “Maybe because you’re too obsessed with that damn Shiratorizawa. You need to do things _other_ than try and recruit me, you know. I’m not the only good player on Seijoh.”

      “Apart from you, everyone in Seijoh is weak. I’ve already stated my sentiments on this.” Inside, I was glowing at the fact that Oikawa himself had turned the conversation back to Shiratorizawa. _Now I can convince him even more_.

      “Have you seen Iwa-chan spike?”

      “Yes, I have. His spikes have been picked up by our players multiple times,” I reminded Oikawa. “Remember? If I recall, you lost to Shiratorizawa last year because you—”

      “Shut up, I know.” Oikawa was glaring at me with some sort of determination in his eyes. “I know you probably think that Shiratorizawa is the strongest, but it’s _not_. Seijoh will defeat you this year, I swear it on my blood.”

      “They might defeat me, but they won’t defeat us. Join Shiratorizawa.”

      “No thanks.” Oikawa shoved the last of his omelette into his mouth and stood up. “I’d rather join Karasuno for an orgy. Even with that damn _Tobio-chan_ ,” he growled, getting a look of irritation on his face. “Great, you’ve pissed me off.”

      “Aren’t you always pissed off, Oikawa?”

      A stitch appeared on Oikawa’s forehead. “I think it’s about time I left.” As if on cue, there was a massive thunderclap outside. Oikawa flinched and clapped his hands over his ears, his whole demeanour changing in mere seconds. He’d been standing proudly just seconds ago, but now he was hunched with his eyes darting back and forth.

      “You’re scared of thunder?” He nodded. “You know, if you join Shiratorizawa, you won’t have to be scared of thunder—”

      “I’m going to hide in your room. _Ja_.” He legged it upstairs and moments later, I heard the sound of my bedroom door shutting. I walked into the living room, turned on the TV and looked at the weather forecast. The weatherwoman was saying that the thunder would last several hours and that it would fade into a light drizzle around night time. _Well, that gives me several hours to convert Oikawa into a Shiratorizawan_. With that in mind, I rushed into the kitchen and began to create the ideal Shiratorizawa meal — volleyball-coloured legumes, roasted swan and of course, volleyball-themed dessert items. There’s _no way_ Oikawa will be able to resist this.


	18. Day 17

Day 17:

He _did_ resist the meal. Even after four laborious hours of preparation and carefulness. He came down and ate it once the thunder had died down; he even asked for seconds. But when I told him that he could get food like this if he came to Shiratorizawa, he said that he was content with eating ‘the same processed shit’ he always did. Angry face. Right now, the idea of getting him to come to Shiratorizawa looks absolutely _impossible_. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. But… a Shiratorizawan does not give up. Even if Oikawa’s currently looking over my shoulder and laughing at me. Oikawa, I know you’re reading. **Stop looking**. It’s private. It even says it on the front cover, ‘Wakatoshi’s Private Diary’.

***

      I closed my diary and frowned at Oikawa, who was still at my house since it had been raining too much last night for him to walk home. He was _still_ laughing at me, annoyingly enough. He seemed to find amusement in the simplest things possible.

      “Man, you’re hilarious when you’re not being an asshole, you know?”

      “I don’t—”

      “I know, I know. Sorry.” He flushed, realising that he’d gone back into his Kansai dialect. “I usually do that with people I’m comfortable with. Iwa-chan thought it was cool, my ex-girlfriend thought it was annoying. Which category do you go into?”

      “I think it’s confusing. You have a nice voice, though. It’s very comforting.”

      A big smile appeared on Oikawa’s face. “I know.”

      “Have you ever considered being a snake charmer? That would be very useful for snake farms.” The smile disappeared off Oikawa’s face. It was replaced with a look of exasperation. _Maybe he doesn’t know what a snake charmer is_.

      “I don’t know what’s worse, the idea of me working in a farm or the idea of me playing for Shiratorizawa. I’d prefer suicide to either,” he coldly remarked. “Do you see those overalls they wear on farms? They don’t look good on _anyone_! Who would even want to see me in overalls?”

      “At the very least, I would.” Oikawa’s cheeks went a deeper red, which was strange. Especially since it wasn’t very cold or hot downstairs. The temperature was neutral. I put my diary onto the table and turned to face him. “Oikawa, have you got a fever? Do you need ice?”

      “I’m fine, idiot,” he muttered, turning his head away from me. “Leave me alone.”

      “But this is my house.”

      “Actually, I was meaning to ask. Do you live here alone?”

      “Yes,” I said, nodding over at him even though he wasn’t facing me. “My parents wire me money every month to pay the bills.”

      “Damn… that must get lonely.”

      “I admit, it can feel a little empty. But you’re here, so it’s not as empty now.” Oikawa finally turned to face me. He had quite a shocked look on his face; his eyes were wide and his lips had parted slightly.

      “E—Eh?”

      “You’re good company,” I continued to say. “Although, you do snore quite loudly—”

      “I do not _snore_! How dare you suggest that, _Ushibaka_.” Oikawa frowned and tossed his head up, now pouting at me. “ _Baka_.”

      There was a knock on the door, so I stood up and went to answer it. Oikawa was following behind me, poking my back and calling me a _baka_ every now and again. Opening the door, I saw that Tendou was there, head hung low. He seemed to be admiring my ‘Come to Shiratorizawa’ doormat.

      “It’s you! You’re the asshole that beat me up! You know how much concealer I’m going to need to hide this scar _here_ —”

      “Oikawa. It is rude to interrupt a conversation,” I said, giving him a look of disapproval.

      “But no-one was even speaking!”

      “So… he stayed at your house,” Tendou said.

      “Hell yeah I did! I even got to sleep under his Shiratorizawa covers. Asshole.” Moments later, he waved his hands, realising what he’d said. “Not that the Shiratorizawa covers are better! Asshole.”

      I simply lugged Oikawa over my shoulder and carried him into the living room, despite his loud yelling and his banging his fists against my back. “U-shi-ba-ka! Put me down!” I eventually placed him down on the couch and frowned at him.

      “It’s rude to interrupt a conversation,” I repeated.

      “Um…” Tendou said, stepping forwards. He seemed to have taken the liberty of inviting himself into my house. “I was going to apologise for what I did, Wakatoshi—”

      “You should be apologising to me. Asshole,” Oikawa said, about to get up and start facing off with Tendou until I glared at him. He quietened down and closed his mouth, although he was still glaring at Tendou. “Asshole,” he mouthed, pointing at Tendou. “A-S-S-H-O-L-E—”

      “That’s enough, Oikawa.” He folded his arms in irritation.

      “It’s _never_ enough, baka. Of course I, as the best senpai in the world, know that. Duh.” Tendou frowned at Oikawa, although he didn’t say anything. He simply ignored Oikawa and turned his attention back to me. Oikawa was still mouthing mean things to Tendou in the background.

      “Is there any chance I could talk to you _without_ him around?”

      “Whatever you have to say to him, you can say to me,” Oikawa loudly insisted, waving his arms around obnoxiously. “I’m older than you, so you have to do what I say. Now, let me hear some Shiratorizawa gossip. Who’s fucking who?”

      “If I tell you, will you _go away_?” asked Tendou, who had put a hand to his forehead in irritation.

      “Depends how juicy it is.”

      “Shirabu and Semi are a thing,” Tendou revealed. “But keep it under wraps—”

      “Oh my God, Shirabu?! I went to elementary with him, man! _Damn_ , he’s with Semi? Shit, I did _not_ know that they were gay. Woah. _Woah. WOAH_. _Ushiwaka_ , where’s my phone?” Oikawa hopped up and went running around the living room, despite the fact Oikawa’s phone was in his back pocket. I didn’t plan on telling him that.

      “I said keep it under wraps! Semi’s still in the closet—”

      “—my Twitter followers are _so_ going to dig this…”

      “Idiot! This is why I don’t want you at Shiratorizawa!” At this, Oikawa stopped his frantic searching and looked up at Tendou, who had an extremely irritated look on his face. “All you’ll do is get in the way and ruin our reputation! You’re nothing but Seijoh scum!”

      “Tendou, stop it—”

      “Like you Shittytorizawans are better! Without Ushiwaka, you guys ain’t _shit_. You’re only able to beat Seijoh because you have him.” Oikawa stepped forwards, fists balled by his sides. “Either way, I don’t want to be in Shiratorizawa. Not if there’s guys like you.”

      “Wait, Oikawa. Shiratorizawa needs you,” I insisted.

      “No, damnit! _I_ need you,” Tendou said, stepping away from Oikawa and towards me. “You’ve been so focused on this idiot that you can’t see what’s in front of you! I like you, Wakatoshi!”

      “He has pictures of me, asshole!”

      “Yeah, pictures that all belong in the shredder,” Tendou yelled back. The two were beginning to fight now, pushing each other and practically having a catfight. It was completely different to what I’d seen earlier on in the week, when Tendou had beaten Oikawa to the ground. This… it felt so _not-serious_ that it might’ve been amusing. Except, it wasn’t.

      “Stop fighting,” I ordered, grabbing Oikawa’s shoulder and pulling him back. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t take much to get him off Tendou. Tendou growled at Oikawa and sprung back, eyes narrowed defensively.

      “We do _not_ need him in Shiratorizawa, Wakatoshi. You want a master setter? _I’ll become a master setter_. Just _stop doing this already_ ,” Tendou insisted, hands together as he pleaded with the ace. “I like you. _I like you_.”

      I bowed my head. “Thank you, Tendou.” Oikawa snorted in the background. “But, you cannot be a setter like Oikawa. He is the best setter in our prefecture.”

      “He’s nothing but a reject that’ll soon be overtaken by his kouhai,” Tendou snarled. Before, Oikawa had just been laughing and brushing off Tendou’s insults, but this time, he stopped. A hurt expression appeared on his face, although it was quickly replaced with anger. _Who’s his kouhai? I am not aware of any setter who served under Oikawa’s guidance_.

      “You know what? You’re right.” Oikawa stepped forward, swiftly delivered a punch at Tendou’s face without any warning. He staggered back, clutching his own face as he looked up at Oikawa. “You assholes don’t need me. _You need to experience defeat_. I’ll never join Shiratorizawa. Never.”

      Realising that the mood change could be troublesome, I stepped in. “Wait, Oikawa—”

      “See you never, Ushiwaka. The next time we meet, it’ll be on different sides of the net.” And just like that, Oikawa walked past Tendou and out through the front door, slamming it shut behind him. Tendou looked up at me, a smile on his face.

      “See? Now you can give up,” he said hopefully, regaining his usual gait. “You can give up _on him_.”

      “Please leave.” I pointed to the door, where Oikawa had just left through.

      “But…”

      “Leave.” Tendou frowned, but he did as I said. He walked out through the front door, leaving me in the living room all by myself. Quietly, I walked back over to the couch, sitting in the same spot where Oikawa had sat. The pillow he’d put his head against still smelled like his hair shampoo. It was some sort of brand called ‘Orange Fantasy’. I’d discovered it while placing Shiratorizawa notes around his house. I looked down at my diary, where it had been left open on the most recent page. Much to my surprise, Oikawa had made his own little entry.

 

**Ushiwaka, Ushiwaka, Ushiwaka-chan. This journal of yours is so embarrassing that it’s kind of cute, uwu. Just so you know, I’m not coming to Shiratorizawa. Aoba Johsai’s way closer to my house than Shiratorizawa is, anyway. You think I have time to be taking a BUS every morning? What do I look like to you, huh? I’m not a DINOSAUR. Baka.**

**Also, your writing’s horrible. Is that the curse of a left hand, perhaps? GASP. I hope you didn’t curse me. I’m practicing my setting when I get home. Although, I’d love it if you made it so that I could be ambidextrous. Maybe then I’d be able to thrash Shiratorizawa.**

**And NO, I’M NOT JOINING.**

**Also, I’m coming to your place next week. I need to introduce you to some musicals, what do you say? Hairspray’s always a classic. AND GREASE, OH MY GOD. Ushiwaka, you have NOT lived until you’ve seen Grease. And Spirited Away, although that’s not a musical. We are going to LIVE IT UP. You make the Shiratorizawa platter, I’ll bring the movies. <3**

**\+ From the best senpai ever, Oikawa~~~ +**

 

      I spent quite some time wondering why Oikawa had made his writing so _thick_. But then, my eyes darted to the little cartoon heart that he’d doodled. I felt a bit disappointed as I thought back to what had just happened. _He’s angry at me, right? He might not want to come to my place anymore. By extension, he won’t want to come to Shiratorizawa_.

 

**Dear Journal,**

**It seems I must revert to my previous tactics in order to bring Oikawa back to the idea of Shiratorizawa. I will need to call the others in tomorrow and have them meet me outside of Oikawa’s house. But Oikawa and Tendou don’t seem to like each other. Tendou likes me though. But I already knew that. He is my friend, and friends like each other. I do not understand what is happening anymore.**

**I wish someone would explain it to me.**


	19. Day 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa Wings!

      Oikawa poked his head out through his front door. He saw a slice of milk bread on his doormat. (I’d replaced it with a Shiratorizawa doormat.) He picked it up, wolfed it down and spotted the next piece of milk bread. “Whoo, early Christmas!” He followed the trail of milk bread, going on until all seven of us Shiratorizawa members began to surround him in a man-made circle. Goshiki, Semi, Ohira, all of them. The only people that weren’t there were Tendou and Shirabu, who had insisted that no amount of cajoling could convince him to participate in such ‘foolishness’. We were wearing shirts that had two letters each. Semi had SH. Ohira had IR. Goshiki had AT. Kawanishi had OR. Yamagata had IZ. Soekawa had AW. And I had A! which meant I was at the centre of it all. I’d convinced my grandfather to send some animals down from his farm, so I had two cows and some eagles in front of me as I put a hand to my chest, welcoming Oikawa into the circle.

      “You should have come to Shiratorizawa,” I repeated, stepping forwards. “You have your chance, Oikawa. Come to Shiratorizawa.”

      “First of all, you made a mistake-that-isn’t-really-a-mistake. Look at Ohira’s shirt. It says IT.” Looking at Ohira’s shirt, I indeed realised that Oikawa was right. That meant that our shirts joined together read SHITATORIZAWA!

      “Second of all, I don’t want to be part of this. Let me out of your circle.”

      “But Oikawa—”

      “First of all, your teammates look like they were forced into this. They’re looking at me the same way Tendou does. And second of all, those animals _stink_.” As if understanding what Oikawa had just said, the two cows began to charge for him.

      “Oikawa Stead, Oikawa Mare. Come back right now. Please.”

      Ohira looked at me weirdly. “You named your cows after Oikawa…”

      The cows weren’t listening. “Oikawa Stead, Oikawa Mare. Stop trying to eat Oikawa’s hair. Angry face.” Oikawa was yelling and trying to run away from the horses, while the rest of my teammates got their phones out and began to record the incident. The eagles joined in, pecking at Oikawa’s exposed skin and clawing at him.

      “Oikawa Wings. Please stop doing that. That is a form of human abuse,” I insisted, trying to get the eagle to come towards me. He just wasn’t listening. “ _Oikawa Wings_.”

      “Can you shoot the fucking things already?”

      “I cannot do that, Oikawa. That would be animal abuse.”

      “I’ll show you animal abuse!” Oikawa was trying to break free, but the cows kept charging towards him.

      “You need to be nice to them,” I insisted. Oikawa soon stopped responding to me though. It seemed that he’d fainted. Again. My teammates were snickering as the animals came back to me, the eagles proudly baring their chests. “I no longer need your services. Please return to the farm.”

      They refused to move.

      “Hey, Ushijima,” Oikawa weakly called out from where he was lying, “can’t you take those brutes to Shiratorizawa instead of me?” The animals, having heard him, began to charge for his body once again. “No! NO! Oh God, no! Not that area! Get off me, Oikawa Wings!”

***

**Today was a failure. One out of the six eagles winded up dead upon returning to my grandfather’s farm, and the cows will never quite be able to produce as much milk as they used to. My grandfather is very disappointed in me. Sad face.**

**Oikawa has also gone viral on social media, thanks to my teammates. They have made ‘mee-mees’ of him yelling various things, like “You stupid winged motherfuckers will never get me alive!” and “Even Donald Trump has bigger hands than you, stupid Oikawa Wings!” His ex-boyfriend, Iwaizumi, made a status post saying “Still can’t believe I dated this plonker.”**

**Ohira told me that if they made it so that Seijoh made fun of him, Oikawa would feel so sad that he would want to come to Shiratorizawa. But I am not so sure if that is the case anymore. He was badly injured because I was unable to control my animals. If I cannot protect him from something like that, I cannot support him as the new captain of Shiratorizawa. It will be impossible to convince Oikawa that I will be able to ensure his well-being at Shiratorizawa now. Cookies and gift baskets will no longer cut it. I need to do more for him.**

**It is about time I reached out to my grandfather’s best friend. Surely enough, he will be able to help.**


	20. Day 19

I enlisted the help of my grandfather’s best friend, Farm Baker. He got his little aeroplane and flew from Seijoh to Oikawa’s house, back and forth from morning until sundown, brandishing a single message on the banner that flew off of it.

 

**THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ROOM FOR YOU IN SHIRATORIZAWA, OIKAWA.**

Farm Baker had required the help of another plane to complete the last part of the message.

**SHIRATORIZAWA IS MY HEART AND IT FEELS EMPTY WITHOUT YOU.**

 

I had sent Oikawa one single text.

**Please stop getting Kindaichi to leave bags of burning poop on my doorstep.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 12:49]**

 

He’d left me on read. Even after I sent him multiple ‘sorries’. He also didn’t respond to my usual morning text, saying ‘Good morning, Oikawa. Please come to Shiratorizawa’. He blocked me on his Facebook so that I could no longer message him on there. I tried to go to his house come evening, but Iwaizumi had rode past on a bike and thrown eggs at me.

 

I don’t know why I feel so frustrated. I am used to Oikawa resisting the urge to come to Shiratorizawa, but I am not used to him ignoring me like this. Ignoring my calls. My texts. My messages. It is very frustrating. But most of all…

I’m not used to being blocked by him. Not in volleyball matches, not in real life. I don’t understand what this feeling is, not really. Even as I scrub this egg out of my clothes, trying to get rid of the scent, all I can think about is that ‘Orange Fantasy’, the light sweet smell which had laced Oikawa’s brown strands of hair. I want Oikawa to stop ignoring me. It’s rude to ignore friends.

 

Especially when you promise to bring them movies and musicals to watch.


	21. Day 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just so y'all know -- I made a separate fic for the 'Feelings Journal' since it contains pictures and stuff. If anyone wants to read it, it's up ^_^

      “Ushijima, you didn’t come to practice today. Is it okay if I come over?”

      “Yes.”

      “By the way, why do you keep commenting _sad face_ on your Facebook status?”

      “It is the trend to publicise your feelings on social media, regardless of whether your peers care or not.”

       “Uh… huh. I’m outside your door, so I’m coming in.” Semi hung up and came through the door mere seconds later, walking into my living room. He was in his Shiratorizawa uniform, sweaty and appearing quite exhausted. “Ushijima, are you really that upset about Oikawa not wanting to come to Shiratorizawa?”

      “I am not upset. I just want him to come to Shiratorizawa.”

      Semi sat down, rested his hands on his knees. “I have an idea. Why don’t you condense your feelings into a book? You’ve got those pictures of Oikawa. Put your favourites in there and tell him the reasons why you want him,” he said. Moments later, he added, “in Shiratorizawa, of course,” although he laughed right after saying that. It somehow felt insincere.

      “My feelings. Feelings…” I tapped my chin and thought deeply, before looking up at Semi once again. “I want him to come to Shiratorizawa.”

      “Yes, but what else do you want?”

      “I want to win Nationals.”

      “Relating to Oikawa,” Semi clarified.

      “I want him to come to Shiratorizawa and win the Nationals with me.”

      “ _Apart from that_ ,” Semi said, throwing his arms up in the air. “Come on, Ushijima. Do you want to hug him, maybe? See him smile?”

      “I would like to see him make a service ace. Of course, when he joins Shiratorizawa. I also want to spike his tosses.”

      “Anything _outside of volleyball_?” I put a hand to my chin, thinking deeply about what Semi was saying. _Outside of volleyball_ …

      “I’d like… I’d like to take him…”

      “Take him?” Semi’s eyes widened. “Woah, woah, Ushijima. Calm down.”

      “…to the volleyball store.”

      “Goddamnit, Ushijima,” Semi said, slapping his face with his palm and letting out a weird noise. _Is that a scream, perhaps?_ I wasn’t sure. But he looked back up and continued to speak at me. “Maybe, just maybe, you can tell him that you want to see him. That your day feels brighter whenever he’s around.”

      “But the day cannot get brighter just because of one person. He is not a sun god,” I reminded Semi. “Although, I would like him to kiss my cheek again.” Semi’s eyes widened.

      “He kissed your cheek?”

      “Yes.” I nodded. Sometimes, if I thought hard enough, I could still feel the warmth against my cheek. “His lips were warm. I would much like to experience that again.”

      “Alright, alright! We’re making progress!” He pulled an empty book out of nowhere, plonking it down on the table. “Begin writing down your feelings, Ushijima. The more, the merrier. I’ll go get some glitter and felt pens. Make it colourful, and pretty. It’ll be the best thing Oikawa will ever get.” In all honesty, Semi didn’t care whether Oikawa came to Shiratorizawa or not. But Shirabu was always complaining about the ace’s obsession with Oikawa. So, Semi had decided to come and help him sort out his feelings so that they would no longer get in the way of Shiratorizawa and the team.

***

      “Semi, I have completed my work.” He had looked like he was about to fall asleep on my couch. In fact, he looked even more worn out than he had before arriving. But, when he heard that I was done, he jumped out of his seat and got an excited look on his face.

      “Now, just give him that book with all your feelings in it. I’ll even pay for you to take a bus down to Seijoh tomorrow. Just _come to practice_ ,” Semi pleaded, even putting his hands together. “Please.”

      I nodded. “That is a fair deal.”

      He let out a yawn, cupping a hand over his mouth as he nodded. “Great. I’m going to go and sleep now. Do you mind if I sleep on your couch for the night? It’s kind of midnight since you insisted on poring over your Oikawa pictures for so long…”

      “One hour is not long. Usually, I spend three or four hours looking at them.”

      He shrugged. “Whatever. Night, Ushijima.” He curled up on my couch once again and drifted off to sleep, his body twitching every now and again. I looked down at the book, where I had glued in my doodle of Shiratorizawa Oikawa. I liked the sight of it, very much so. _Although, maybe he would look better with a different number. I can’t give up the ace number, can I?_

      I got my phone and texted Oikawa.

**Good night, Oikawa. I hope you will wake up wanting to come to Shiratorizawa.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 00:12]**

      I felt my heartbeat beginning to speed up when I saw him read the message almost instantly. The dots popped up, indicating that he was typing a response. But they disappeared. I was hoping that they would appear again, but they didn’t. Not even after I stared at my screen for ten minutes in a row, occasionally breaking away to get ready for bed. Once those ten minutes had passed and Oikawa still hadn’t responded, I sighed and put my phone down before laying my head down on my pillow.

      With nothing else to do, I fell asleep at last.

      _Bleep_. I opened my eyes, realising that the screen of my phone was glowing. With one hand, I reached out and grabbed the phone, rubbing my eyes as I looked at what the screen said.

**_One new message._ **

      I typed in my phone pin ‘C0me t0 shi7at0rizawa’ as fast as I could and clicked onto the notification, relaxing when I saw who the message had come from. A new one popped up as I clicked onto the message, and then yet another new one after some minutes.

**Shut the fuck up, you bastard.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 00:42]**

**\---**

**Also, good night.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 00:43]**

**\---**

**Asshole.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 00:50]**

**\---**

**I do not see what is wrong with being a bastard, Oikawa. I searched it up on the search engine Google and it says that a bastard is someone born with unmarried parents.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 00:52]**

**\---**

***insert screenshot of Google***

**-Ushijima [Sent 00:53]**

**\---**

**First of all, saying *insert screenshot of Google* won’t actually do anything. What is it with you, Ushibaka? HUH. (҂** **⌣** **̀_** **⌣** **́)**

**-Oikawa [Sent 00:55]**

**\---**

**And second of all, stop texting me. We’re not friends anymore, baka.** **(** **￣** **ω** **￣** **;)**

**-Oikawa [Sent 00:56]**

**\---**

**Does that mean our friendship has progressed to the next level, Oikawa? Happy face.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 00:57]**

**\---**

**DON’T WORD IT WEIRDLY! UGH! I’M SO TIRED OF YOU!!!** **┌П┐(►˛◄’!)**

**-Oikawa [Sent 00:57]**

      I could not help but crack a small smile at how quickly he had responded. His response had been near-instantaneous.

**Well, Oikawa, now would be the optimal time for us homosapiens to sleep.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 00:58]**

**\---**

**Or, according to Semi, this is the optimal time for teenaged boys to exchange scantily-clad photos of one another.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 00:58]**

**\---**

**Shut up! I was planning to do that anyway!**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:00]**

**\---**

**Wait, oh my god, oh my god! The first one, not the second one! YOU’RE SUCH A DAMN PERVERT!!**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:03]**

**\---**

**According to Google, a ‘pervert’ is a person whose sexual behaviour is regarded as abnormal. But I have never been interested in sex, therefore I cannot be a pervert. I will enclose a link in my next message.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:05]**

**\---**

***insert Google link r.e. pervert***

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:06]**

**\---**

**I TOLD you, Ushijima. THAT DOESN’T WORK. You have to take a screenshot and send it to me, you know.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:07]**

**\---**

**From where can I take a screenshot? I live by a convenience store. It is a twenty-four hour one. Will that suffice?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:07]**

**\---**

**Technology has really advanced during this last decade. I am quite impressed. Happy face.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:09]**

**\---**

**‘From where’ Ushiwaka… this is the 21 st century, you know. No-one speaks like that. I really don’t have much hope for you. Fortunately enough for you, I’m smart and can therefore teach you everything that you don’t know. (Which is a lot, lmao)** **（** **○** **゜** **ε** **＾** **○** **）**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:11]**

**\---**

**Unfortunately, you’re still a bastard so I don’t want to do that. Lmao.**

**-Okawa [Sent 01:12]**

**\---**

**It is my understanding that ‘LMAO’ means ‘laughing my ass off’. If you’re ‘LMAO’-ing that much, could that perhaps be the reason your backside appears to be quite small?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:14]**

**\---**

**OH MY GOD! YOU’RE SO**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:15]**

**\---**

**FUCK YOU. Damnit**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:17]**

**\---**

**I LIKE MY ASS. So fuck you.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:18]**

**\---**

**Not everyone can have stupidly muscular asses like you anyway (** **ง** **ಠ** **_** **ಠ** **)** **ง**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:20]**

**\---**

**Please don’t be mistaken, Oikawa. I have no wish to have sexual intercourse with you.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:21]**

**\---**

**Also, I feel that your backside is in proportion with the rest of your body. There is nothing wrong with it. In my opinion, all backsides matter. : )**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:23]**

**\---**

**That has to be the most awkward smiley face I’ve ever seen.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:25]**

**\---**

**Also, what makes you think I want to have sex with you?!?!?! HUH. I don’t even like you! You’re stupid and mean and ugly and you’re always asking me to come to Shiratorizawa even though I’ve told you to QUIT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** **(** **૭** **ఠ** **༬** **ఠ** **)** **૭**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:28]**

**\---**

**}:^)**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:30]**

**\---**

**Does that face look better, perhaps? It even has eyebrows.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:31]**

**\---**

**Also, would you like some more exclamation marks, Oikawa? ‘!!!’**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:32]**

**\---**

**Fuck you. I’m going to sleep, damnit. I don’t want to talk to you.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:35]**

**\---**

**And when I say fuck you, it means you’re a waste of spACE.**

**(∩ ͡ ° ʖ ͡ °)** **⊃** **-(=== >**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:38]**

**\---**

**and that I’M NOT! COMING! TO! SHITTYTORIZAWA!!!**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:43]**

**\---**

**Yes, of course. ‘Shittytorizawa’ doesn’t exist. You are coming to Shiratorizawa, right?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:45]**

**\---**

**I will drop the uniform off at your house tomorrow. Sleep well, Oikawa.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:45]**

**\---**

**F**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:45]**

**\---**

**U**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:46]**

**\---**

**C**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:47]**

**\---**

**K**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:47]**

**\---**

**Y**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:47]**

**\---**

**O**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:50]**

**\---**

**U**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:51]**

**\---**

**━** **╤** **デ** **╦** **︻** **(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)**

**-Oikawa [Sent 01:55]**

 

      Putting my phone down at last, I began to make myself comfortable in bed. But for some reason, my lips felt weird. They kept tugging upwards for some sort of reason. _Perhaps it is from lack of sleep_ , my mind reasoned. I pulled my Shiratorizawa covers over me, all the while wondering why Oikawa keeps saying that he wants to ‘fuck’ me. _But he sent an e-moji of a man holding what appears to be a gun_. Perhaps it’s some sort of pun.

**Tendou. What does it mean if a man says the phrase “fuck you” and sends a picture of a man with a gun?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 01:59]**

**\---**

**It means he wants to shoot his load into you. You’re welcome. :/**

**-Tendou [Sent 02:00]**

**\---**

**His ‘load’?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 02:03]**

**\---**

**His sperm. I hope this isn’t about that Oikawa bastard.**

**-Tendou [Sent 02:05]**

**\---**

**He is not a bastard. His parents are married.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 02:06]**

**\---**

**I’m going to sleep. Night.**

**-Tendou [Sent 02:07]**

 

      _So. A man wants to shoot his sperm into me_ , I thought, sitting up in bed as I pondered. _How does that work? Would he acquire a water gun and squirt it into my mouth, perhaps? What orifice would he use?_

      With no knowledge of the topic, I turned to Google to help me.

      “Man shoots load inside another man.” Events of shooting incidents popped up, involving guns. There was also a thread which popped up regarding anal sex. Scrolling back up onto the search bar, I typed in a new query. **Porn hub**. I had heard some of my teammates discussing the website during practice, so perhaps I would be able to find my answer. _Although, what is porn?_ This time, a website popped up, featuring…

      “What?” I stared hard at the pictures, trying to figure out just what the appeal of this was. “What?” When they began to _move_ all of a sudden, I launched my phone across the room and threw the covers over my head, although it didn’t do much to help. The images were burnt into my eyes. _I would not want Oikawa to do that to me_.

      After a suitable pause had passed, I got up, crept towards my phone (which had thankfully gone off) and restarted it so that I would not have to look at such _dreadful_ images again. Once it had finally restarted, I turned it on and went straight onto my messages, clicking onto my messages with Oikawa.

 

**Please do not ‘shoot your load’ into me. I would be quite traumatised if you did such a thing to me, Oikawa.**

**-Ushijima [Sent 02:27]**

**\---**

**Jesus Christ, Ushiwaka. Can’t you let a man jack off in peace?**

**-Oikawa [Sent 02:30]**

**\---**

**I’m trying to enjoy some damn porn and then your message just POPS UP AND KILLS THE MOOD!!!**

**-Oikawa [Sent 02:32]**

**\---**

**Also, what the hell is this message? Don’t tell me this is Tendou or some other Shiratorizawa asshole.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 02:33]**

**\---**

**I apologise. You may continue letting Jack off, Oikawa. Although, if you don’t mind me asking, who is Jack?**

**-Ushijima [Sent 02:33]**

**\---**

***face-palm***

**You really are stupid, huh.**

**-Oikawa [Sent 02:39]**

 

      “Not particularly,” I said out loud to myself, moving back to my bed. I buried myself under my Shiratorizawa covers and tried to sleep, although it felt useless. _This is weird_. I have a weird feeling burning in my veins, something that’s preventing me from sleeping. I feel restless. No matter how I turn and toss, my eyes remain open. _I want to know who Jack is_.


	22. Day 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in like a month, lmao. I've had this chapter done for quite a while but I just never got around to posting it. But hey, happy new year y'all

      When I woke up from my deep sleep, it had already hit three o’clock. In the afternoon. _Shocker_. I got up and scratched my head, realising that Semi might still be downstairs. When I walked down, I saw that he had disappeared. And so had my ‘Feelings about Oikawa’ book. I searched everywhere for the book — under the couch, behind my television, underneath the fruit bowl in my kitchen — but it was nowhere to be found. I began to feel quite worried, realising that I might have lost some good pictures of Oikawa.

      And then, there was a loud knock at my door. I looked up and walked out of the kitchen, heading towards the front door. Upon opening it, I had a book thrown in my face.

      “You asshole!” Oikawa was standing on my doorstep in tears, although he had an angry expression on his face. “Why would you write things like that about me?”

      “Huh?” My face was aching — I was pretty sure he’d left a big red mark on it — but I ignored the pain for the time being and picked up the offending item. It appeared to be the journal that I had written, but upon further inspection, it had been completely defiled. There was completely different handwriting which seemed to mimic mine, different words, hate all over.

      “Don’t play dumb! You just want to bring me to Shiratorizawa so that I won’t have any chance of overshadowing you!” He was wiping the tears away, lip jutting out as he regarded me with pure frustration on his face. “No wonder you’ve been so persistent about it. That’s why.”

      “Oikawa. I did not write this—”

      “Shut the fuck up. Yes you did. Who else uses words like ‘moreover’ and ‘forthcoming’?” Oikawa shook his head, fists balled tightly by his sides. “I don’t understand why you’d be so mean. _Your physique is subpar. Your hair looks like a pile of pig turd, OINKAWA. Even with those ridiculously archaic glasses, you somehow cannot see how bad of a player you are_.” His voice was cracking as he spoke the words, desperately trying to wipe the tears off his face.

      “I don’t think that,” I insisted, raising my voice. “I want you in Shiratorizawa because you’re a _good player_.”

      “Stop it, Ushijima.” He threw his Shiratorizawa jacket back at me, despite the fact that it seemed quite chilly outside. “You can take this back too. I don’t want this shit in my house. And this,” he added, throwing the Shiratorizawa doormat in my face. “Just keep your Shittytorizawa propaganda _away from me_.”

      “Oikawa. I would never write those kind of things. I don’t believe them to be true,” I insisted, reaching out for him. He took a sharp step back, throwing a hand out to stop me from moving any further.

      “Don’t. This friendship is over, alright? I was beginning to think that you weren’t so bad and then you pull some shit like this. I can’t believe you.” I could already feel him becoming distant in the way he was speaking to me, calling me _Ushijima_ rather than _Ushiwaka_. I’d grown used to hearing that name on his lips, _Ushiwaka_. I still wasn’t fond of the –chan, though.

      “Oikawa. Who gave that to you?”

      “It doesn’t matter! Damnit, you’re _such_ an asshole!” He kicked my own front door shut. Although I opened it mere seconds later, he had already begun to walk away from it. I called out for him but he didn’t turn back. Not once. Frustrated, I shut the door and went back upstairs, retrieving my phone from my bedside table.

 

**Ushijima, before you ask, it was me. Tendou said that it was the only way to get your head back in the game.**

**-Semi [Sent 14:32]**

**\---**

**I’m sorry.**

**-Semi [Sent 14:35]**

**\---**

**By the way, practice is at four. Coach says if you skip today, you’ll lose your ace number. Can’t be the ace if you don’t turn up, after all.**

**-Semi [Sent 14:38]**

**\---**

**Sorry, Shirabu took my phone. He’s so rude…**

**-Semi [Sent 14:40]**

 

      “Why does no-one see?” I put my phone down and scratched my head, looking around my room. Fukuoka Masanobu was staring back at me, and so were my posters of Oikawa. “Why does no-one want Oikawa to join Shiratorizawa? Even Oikawa himself will not join…”

***

**Dear Journal,**

**Today has been a failure. Volleyball-wise, my spikes are stronger than ever. No-one on the team was able to block my spikes today, except Tendou. He managed to bump quite a few of them, although he was unable to stop all of them completely. Some people commented on how my spikes seemed harder to receive than usual.**

**Oikawa-wise, it has been a complete failure. He is refusing to speak to me. I tried to text him, but my message would not go through. I believe that he may have blocked my number.**

**I wish I had a copy of the real ‘Feelings about Oikawa’ journal so that I could redeem myself. I have ruined Oikawa’s social life, and now his confidence has probably taken a hit due to those unkind words that Semi wrote about him. Oikawa will not believe me unless I can show him definitive proof. But… what can I do?**

 

      That night, I was unable to get some form of decent sleep. I kept waking up during the night, wondering whether Oikawa would send me a message saying that he knew I wouldn’t say such horrible things and that things were okay between us. But the message never came. Not once.


	23. Day 22

Day 22:

      Unfortunately, since today was a Monday, I had to go to school, especially considering that my attendance had gone down ever since the beginning of this month. Tendou was trying to speak to me, but I wasn't in the mood to listen. I continued to check my phone throughout the day, so much that I eventually got caught looking at it during one lesson and had it confiscated.

      By the time the end of the day came at last, I was a lot more relieved than usual. Shirabu came over and asked if I was coming to practice. Of course, Semi was following behind him.

      “I have more pressing matters to attend to.” I sprinted through the corridors, outside of the school and down to the nearest store. I grabbed a box of jam donuts and tried to run back out, but I was stopped by a shopkeeper.

      “You have to pay for that, sir.”

      “I am sorry, but I have a grave manner that I must attend to,” I began to say, head bent in reverence. “If I do not get these donuts to my friend, his life could be at risk.” If I fail to bring Oikawa to Shiratorizawa, he will be stuck in infertile soil. In Aoba Johsai. And he will perish as a result of that infertile soil. _Fukuoka Masanobu would want me to do this, as a fellow farmer_.

      “I understand.” The shopkeeper stepped out of the way, allowing me to leave. As I left, I saw the bus to Seijoh heading down the road. I broke into a sprint, thankfully able to leap onto it in time. The journey wasn’t too long, although with all the internal minute-counting I was doing in my head, it felt like it was taking forever. With all the winding roads and crowds of schoolchildren slowing down the course of the bus, it might as well have been forever.

      But at last, the bus came to a halt, stopping nearby Oikawa’s house. I offered a thanks to the bus driver for his services and got off, watching the bus as it sped away. Looking up at the sky, I saw that it was beginning to become cloudy. Chances were, it would begin to rain at some point today. I looked down at the box of donuts, which remained untarnished. I brushed my sleeves out, straightened my posture and began to walk along his street, stopping outside of his door. Just as I was about to knock, Oikawa opened the door himself, in the midst of a phone conversation.

      “—Iwa-chan, you can’t just say…” He drifted off when he saw that I was there, his facial expression becoming one of annoyance. It was as if he had forgotten that he had the phone in his hand — at least, until there was some irritated squawking from the other end of the phone. “No, a cat _hasn’t_ got my tongue. I’m going to go now, and I’m not calling you back because you’re a meanie.” There was some shouting from the other end of the phone, but Oikawa coolly hung the phone up and slipped it back into his pocket. He was still in his school uniform.

      “Good afternoon, Oikawa.”

      “What the hell do you want?”

      “I brought a peace offering,” I said, holding out the box of donuts to him. I pulled the flaps open, revealing the goods inside. “I—”

      “No thanks. They’re probably laced with something,” he snapped, slamming the door in my face. Exactly thirty seconds later, he opened the door and snatched one from the box before shutting the door in my face. Then, he opened the door and snatched the whole box before dashing back inside once again. I moved to follow him inside, but he slammed the door in my face. Again. I stood outside, waiting patiently for him to come back out once again. It was five minutes when he creaked the door open, looking at me through the crack in the door. “Thanks.”

      I was about to respond, but he closed the door before I could.

***

      “I said I’m _coming_ , Iwa-chan. Jesus Christ,” Oikawa said, stepping out through his front door. “It’s raining, actually. I’m going to go grab an umbrella. Probably the one with…” He drifted off when he spotted me, sitting on the ground with a hand held above my head. The rain had hit at last, and it had been chucking it down for the past hour or so. Not to mention, the strong gusts of wind had threatened to blow me away. I was drenched from top to bottom, shivering as the cold water had seeped through every layer I had on.

      “Never mind,” Oikawa said at last, looking at his phone. “I’ll meet you another time.”

      “Shittykawa! How the fuck are you just going to cancel on me? I swear to God, if you hang up on me—” Oikawa hung up and placed the phone back in his pocket before rushing towards me, clasping my hands in-between his.

      “Why the hell are you still here?” His expression was a lot more caring than I had expected, catching me off-guard. I would have liked to take a picture of his face at this very moment. Droplets falling down his face, down a chiselled jaw and dampening the plain shirt he had on. _He’ll get cold_ , I realised.

      “I… I didn’t get to say you’re welcome.” My teeth were chattering so much that I could barely speak. It had been easy to ignore the coldness at first, but now that Oikawa’s warm hands were clasping mine, it wasn’t so easy.

      “What the hell are you on about?”

      “You said thanks, but I didn’t get to say you’re—you’re welcome.”

      Oikawa sighed and pulled me up to his feet, looking out at the sky. It didn’t look like the rain would be letting up anytime soon. “Come on. You’re a mess.” He led me into his house. I pulled off my shoes first, revealing my soaking-wet socks underneath. Oikawa took his shoes off too and went towards the staircase, where he had left the empty box of donuts. He threw it in a nearby bin and turned his attention back to me. “You know where my bathroom is, right?”

      I nodded. “Yes. It’s an ensuite.”

      “You’ll catch cold if you don’t get warm. Go and take a shower,” Oikawa ordered, taking my backpack off my shoulders and hanging it up with the rest of the coats. “When you’re done, call me. I’ll help you change.”

      “But I’m capable of changing myself.”

      “Your clothes are soaking,” Oikawa said, with an exasperated look on his face. “I need to make the effort to find clothes that will fit you.” He turned to the stairs, gestured for me to go up first. I walked up the stairs, stopping once I’d reached the top. I walked the short distance over to the bathroom and went inside, looking around myself. There was a towel rack and a wide mirror, adjacent to the shower cubicle. Horribly aware of my still-dripping clothes, I began to strip them off. Blazer first, then my tie. Then, the jumper I was wearing. My shirt soon followed, creating a pile of ridiculously-wet clothes on the floor.

      “Ushijima, I’m coming in.” Oikawa invited himself in, throwing a set of dry clothes at me. “I can hardly believe that you live on your own when you can barely look after yourself,” he said, scoffing at me. “Fortunately, I, the kind Oikawa-san, am willing to give you a leg to stand on.”

      I looked at the clothes he’d given me. A blue shirt with ‘Aoba Johsai’ written on the chest area in small letters, along with a pair of loose joggers, which were black. Then, I looked back up at Oikawa, whose cheeks had flushed a bright red. He seemed to be fixated on my chest. _Perhaps I have some sort of bruise_.

      “Oikawa, are you overheating?”

      “Shut up! Just take your damn shower, stupid Ushibaka!”

      I looked at him in confusion. “What did I do?”

      “Everything! You’re such a bastard.” Oikawa walked out and slammed the door behind him. _Why’s he so angry?_ I walked over to the shower and let the water begin to run as I stripped myself of my joggers. I got in and allowed the warm water to run over my weary muscles, sighing as I felt my cold body beginning to heat up at last. _Actually, the shower here is slightly better than Shiratorizawa’s_. Of course, I wouldn’t actually admit it to Oikawa, but the jets were strong and the air in this room smelt strongly of Oikawa’s shampoo. It was a comforting smell.

      I eventually stepped out of the shower, pulling on the clothes he’d given me to wear once I’d slathered some cream over myself. I admired myself in the mirror, realising that blue didn’t look so bad on me. (I still preferred purple, although I was beginning to see the appeal of blue.) Then, I towelled my hair until it was dry, borrowing some of Oikawa’s hair product in order to keep it moisturised. I combed it into place with my hands (and for extra measure, applied some to my eyebrows too). Strangely enough, Oikawa only had the one pot of hair product and a small comb. I hadn’t noticed the last time I’d been here, but it didn’t look like Oikawa put too much effort into looking the way he did. _Hmm_ …

      When there was a knock on the door, I found myself quite startled. “Hey, Ushiwaka. I’m downstairs when you’re done, alright?”

      “I’m done,” I responded, walking towards the door and pulling it open with the one hand. When Oikawa saw me, he froze for a couple of seconds, eyes glued to me. He was looking at my hair in particular.

      “Is… is that my hair product?”

      “I hope you don’t mind, but I needed something to sustain my hair.” Putting my hands to my hair, I began to run my fingers through the brunette strands. “I can try and force it back out if you’re displeased—”

      “ _Baka_ , that’s not even possible,” Oikawa said, rolling his eyes. He grabbed my wrist with one hand and tugged it down, eyes still on mine. “It’s fine. It… it suits you, you know.” A blush bloomed on his face as he let my wrist go, haughtily turning his head away from me after a few moments of silence had passed. “Not that I like you, though.” He began to make his way downstairs. I took the hint and followed down after him, allowing him to lead me into his living room. There were two bowls of chicken soup on the table, complete with neat hunks of bread for dipping.

      “Did you make this?”

      The future Shiratorizawa captain shrugged. “It was nothing. You know, not like I almost chopped my fingers off on more than one occasion trying to cut the chicken up into neat little blocks. Nor did I almost burn myself pouring it out of the soup pot and into the bowls.”

      “That’s good. It would’ve been bad if you’d almost injured yourself, Oikawa. After all, you’re—” I’d been about to make a comment about Shiratorizawa, but I stopped myself. _If I do that, he’ll get angry at me again._ But his eyes had already narrowed on mine, a knowing glint in his eyes.

      “—the future captain of Shiratorizawa. Whatever. Just eat your soup and get the fuck out of my house,” he said, storming off towards the kitchen. _I guess that means I ruined the mood_. I went towards him, grabbed his wrist.

      “Oikawa, wait.”

      “Let go of me, bastard! You wanna fight?” He turned and put his fists up, but when I placed both hands on his fists, pushing them down, he stopped his defensive stance and relaxed. “What do you want, damnit?”

      “You.”

      “Yeah, let me guess. You want me to come to Shiratorizawa.”

      I shook my head. “Well, yes. But right now, I just want you.”

      The brunette let out a snort of laughter. “Do you even know what that means?”

      “Yes, I do. To want is to desire. I can pull up a Google definition if you like. Or Merriam Webster. Whatever pops your cherry.” Oikawa avoided my gaze, cheeks tinted with a pinkish flush as he bit down on his lip. At first glance, it appeared to be embarrassment, but when I noticed that there seemed to be tears brewing in his eyes, I felt my hands becoming stiff. Oikawa yanked his away from mine harshly as he met my eyes at last, eyebrows sharp and expression poignant.

      “What, so you want to fuck me now? What happened to ‘having no wish to having sexual intercourse with me’, Ushiwaka? What happened to my ‘archaic glasses’, me being ‘Oinkawa’?”

      “I never mentioned sexual intercourse,” I reminded him, scratching my head. “And I never said the latter two things, Oikawa. I told you that.”

      “How am I meant to believe that, huh? All you’ve ever done is defeat me, time and time again. What, you sit outside my house and gain my sympathy so you can make your way into my bed? You’re the biggest asshole ever! You know what, I hope you get hit by a volleyball with spikes and I hope it turns into a mine and _blows you up_ and I hope the pieces land in that shitty pond at Shiratorizawa, damnit!” He was breathing heavily as he took a step back, hands clutched to his head. “Fuck you.”

      _I’ve always been hard to understand_. That’s true.

      _I’ve always been one to unintentionally hurt people’s feelings_. That’s also true.

      But hating Oikawa? That’s not true. But… perhaps he _does_ hate me now.

      “I’ll excuse myself,” I said after a few moments of silence, turning and making my way out of the room. “I’m sorry for ruining your evening, Oikawa.” There was no response as I opened the front door, where the rain had faded to a light drizzle. The sky was fading into a dark, cerulean blue. Chances were, it would melt into an obsidian black come seven o’clock in the evening. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to wait too long for a bus. _But, I don’t have bus money_. It didn’t matter — I was already walking, far from that quaint house, far from what I’d thought about for a lot longer than I would’ve liked to admit. _Oikawa_.

      But it wasn’t even five minutes when I heard that voice shouting “Ushiwaka!” and footsteps splashing against the puddles that had formed in the ground. Then Oikawa was there, breathing heavily as he held his phone up to me. It was a series of messages from Semi on Facebook, images of the _real_ ‘Feelings Journal’ before it had been defiled.

      “You wrote this,” he said.

      “Yes, I did.”

      “You didn’t write those mean things about me.”

      “No, I didn’t.”

      “You genuinely want me.”

      “Yes, I do.” I wasn’t really sure what I meant when I said that I _wanted_ Oikawa. But, what happened next, it was what all of me seemed to desire at that moment. Oikawa’s phone was shoved into his pocket and there was a split-second where I had the chance to take a breath, before Oikawa’s lips were being pressed up right against mine, stealing the breath I’d just taken. But I couldn’t be mad, for he was giving me his; his tongue was licking along the seam of my lips, working them open and entangling itself in a game of volleyball with my tongue. At least, that’s how I’d describe it. And then, for the first time, I felt a foreign emotion flickering inside of me. It was dark, deep, burning within my very core. It was flaring up every time Oikawa’s hands brushed against my body, pushing me back; my body was heating up even despite the rain. And then, I could feel the hardness, the hardness that was forming in my boxers, pressing up against Oikawa.

      “Liar,” Oikawa whispered at last when he pulled away, lips quirking upwards. “You want me in the dirtiest way possible, Ushiwaka.”

      “Well,” I responded, my voice quite hoarse, “dirty wouldn’t be the best way to put it. I want you to want me.”

      “Goddamnit, Ushiwaka. You say it so simply,” he whined, grabbing my hand and tugging me back down the expanse of the street. His eyes still remained on mine, beckoning me down this path. Not just this physical path, but a metaphorical path. It was one of desire, one which I’d never really intended to go down. But when it comes to Oikawa, it seems that I’m always breaking the rules. “Come on. Let’s… let’s hurry back. We have a long night ahead of us.”


End file.
